Here’s how I would handle this sad thing if I let my emotions rule:
Cry.
Sleep.
Watch movies.
Eat donuts.
Here’s how I have been actually handling this sad thing:
Crying.
Going for walks, while crying. Like literally walking down the street crying. Still with a band-aid on my chin. It’s quite the image, huh? (#hotmessminusthehot)
Reading business books. Because what cheers someone up more than a hearty dose of marketing?
Journaling.
Eating donuts.
Eating ice cream.
Drinking smoothies.
Drinking tea.
Moping.
Brainstorming my holiday e-devotional topics.
Reading Psalms of lament. Yes, I actually Googled “what are the Psalms of Lament?”. Because, yes, I am lamenting.
Listening to social media podcasts.
Texting my friends with relationship questions, while crying.
Making dinner.
Sighing.
Creating a new Facebook group for women who are in seasons of pain.
Resting my head on my laptop.
Missing him.
Creating a new one-day retreat for women who are in seasons of pain.
Writing four blog posts.
Thinking of things I want to tell him than having to stop myself.
Crying.
Decathecting left and right. Yuck. (In case you don’t know what that means, basically, analyzing everything that I did wrong. Well, that’s my definition of the word. My mentor even said, “Maybe you need a break from analyzing.” Has she just met me???)
Here’s how I wish I were handling this sad thing:
Laying my questions at Jesus’ feet, knowing I don’t have to know the answers and probably never will. (Though I’m trying.)
Resting.
Being kinder to myself than I am being.
This is not the end of the world. I’m only a few days out. I will be okay. I’m just not okay today. And that’s normal, because getting over a good man is hard. And so right now, I’m showing myself grace. Lots and lots of grace.
The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart. –Psalm 34:18a–
If this post encouraged you, you would benefit from “Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage”, found here or “Living through Divorce as a Christian Woman”, found here.
Amen!! That’s all…just AMEN!
Praying for you today!
Thank you, Kim!
Yep, the mix of grief and acceptance that life goes on – it’s all real and be so gentle with yourself. I’m so sorry that your heart is hurting and I do pray the Lord can fill the void.
Thank you for praying, Missy.
I’m sorry for what you are going through. But your grieving sounds pretty normal and healthy to me. Love you and your blog and Your wonderful sense of humor in all circumstances (the ice cream picture made my day)
Elle, so glad the pic could make you smile! -Elisabeth
I think you have a nice sense of humour. And I like your honesty.
He’s got you, Elisabeth — this, too, shall pass.
Hugs.
Thank you, Ganise!
Oh Elisabeth… I can so relate… praying for His comfort to be yours. Looks to me like you are grieving well. I believe this loss will refine you not define you. Big hug.
Thank you, Athena!
That’s one of the reasons I stayed in a destructive marriage for soooo long (32 years). I completely, utterly dread going through what you’re describing here Beth 🙁 I felt it many times when I was younger before getting married-I think that might be why I married him, in fact I’m pretty sure that’s why. The saddest part of ending my marriage is the realization that when I got married I thought I was getting that special, forever love that I so desperately longed for, but now I hate the fact that I never got it and STILL crave it so much. I don’t want to go through dates and falling and losing and falling and losing…There has been so much pain for so many years already. How will I ever get there? To the place of love that Jesus designed with someone who’s right for me? I can’t imagine a time when I won’t feel totally spent. Like you I am-thanks to Jesus-productive at work. I look okay on the outside, but inside I’m crying all the time. Thanks so much for letting me know there’s hope and I’m not alone.
Debbie, I’m so sorry for your pain. You are absolutely not alone. -Elisabeth