When Resentment Creeps In: Navigating Jealousy in a Blended Family
Blending a family with grown kids feels like being handed a puzzle without the picture on the box. Everyone has their own rhythm, their own story, their own way of doing life—and here we are, trying to create something new together without erasing what came before.
I expected scheduling challenges. I expected different personalities. I even expected the awkwardness that comes with figuring out how close is too close, and how far is too far. But I didn’t expect the quiet, creeping presence of resentment or jealousy—especially in myself.
It’s not always big or loud. Sometimes it’s subtle.
Like feeling like I’m on the outside looking in.
Like feeling left out of traditions that didn’t include me, or trying to create new ones that don’t quite catch.
Like noticing how naturally affection flows between some, while I feel like I’m working hard just to keep the peace.
Like scanning the room filled with people I gave birth to, a man I married later in life, and young people I just met, and trying to discern how they each feel and what they each need from me, right in that moment, and then doing that over and over again, for years.
It’s a strange thing, to feel both love and loss in the same room. To celebrate new bonds while quietly grieving the space where I’m not quite sure I fit.
There are moments when I’ve had to swallow my pride, lay down my expectations, and admit to God—I’m struggling.
And I’ve learned: He isn’t disappointed by my honesty. He doesn’t shame me for feeling what I feel. In fact, the more I bring to Him, the more space He has to transform those hard emotions into something redemptive.
I’ve realized that jealousy doesn’t mean I’m petty. Resentment doesn’t mean I’m bitter beyond repair. These are human responses to real tensions. But they don’t get to lead me. I get to choose what I do with them.
And most days, that looks like this:
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Taking a deep breath when I feel overlooked and reminding myself that love isn’t limited or ranked.
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Choosing grace over assumptions.
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Letting go of the idea that closeness has to look a certain way, or happen on my timeline.
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Trusting that connection can be built slowly, through presence and patience—not performance.
And I’ve had to return to this truth again and again:
God is doing something bigger than I can see. He’s forming something meaningful out of all the scattered parts. He’s teaching me how to love without conditions, how to lead with humility, and how to let go of control in places where I never really had it anyway.
It’s okay that I don’t feel “blended” all the time. It’s okay that it’s awkward sometimes, or disappointing, or even lonely. Those aren’t signs that I’m failing. They’re signs that I’m human.
And in all of it, I can rest in this:
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
— Psalm 51:10
Because even when my emotions are tangled, my heart can stay aligned.
Not perfect. But open. Willing. Faithful.
And that’s enough. It always enough. Because I'm loved, I'm already completely loved...and so are each one of my loves.
FREE (OR SUPER AFFORDABLE) RESOURCES:
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∂ Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage book: https://bit.ly/Elisabeth-Klein-books-on-Amazon
∂ Moving On as a Christian Single Mom e-book: https://bit.ly/Elisabeth-Klein-books-on-Amazon
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