How to Pray When You Feel Hopeless in Your Marriage

There are days in marriage when hope feels like a stranger. You’ve prayed before, pleaded before, even begged God to change your spouse or your circumstances—and nothing seems to shift. Your heart is heavy, your mind weary, and every conversation feels like another reminder that your marriage isn’t what you dreamed it would be, or worse, it’s causing you harm. In those moments, how do you pray?

First, give yourself permission to be honest with God. Scripture invites us to “pour out our hearts like water” (Lamentations 2:19). He already knows your pain, your anger, your despair. Don’t worry about sounding spiritual or saying the right words. He wants your raw, unfiltered heart. You can say, “God, I feel hopeless. I don’t know what to do. I can’t fix this.” That honesty is a prayer in itself.

Second, start small. When hope feels out of reach, you don’t need a perfect or long prayer. A simple, “Lord, help me see You in this” or “God, please give me strength today” is enough. Sometimes prayer is less about asking God to fix your spouse or marriage and more about asking Him to fix your heart so you can endure, love, and respond with grace.

Third, lean on Scripture. Words from God are anchors when despair feels like a storm. Passages like Psalm 34:18—“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted”—or Philippians 4:6–7—“Do not be anxious about anything…”—remind you that He is near, even when your marriage feels distant. Reading, praying, and meditating on Scripture in short bursts can reignite even a flicker of hope.

Fourth, use prayer as a shield, not just a wish list. Ask God for wisdom, patience, and protection from bitterness. Pray for your spouse’s heart, yes, but also pray for yours—your perspective, your words, your actions. You can’t control him, but you can invite God to work in you.

Finally, remember that prayer doesn’t always produce immediate results—and that’s okay. God is faithful, even in silence. Sometimes the most powerful prayers are the ones where you simply show up and let Him hold your broken pieces. The act of lifting your heart, even when hopeless, is itself a testament of faith.

When your marriage feels hopeless, don’t stop praying. Don’t stop seeking God. Even in despair, He is listening, He is present, and He can bring light to the darkest corners of your heart—and your marriage.

If you’d like to go deeper, Better Way to Stay in my comprehensive companion guide for women in difficult marriages.