How to Honor God, Yourself, and Your Marriage When Your Marriage Feels Broken

How do you honor God, yourself, and your marriage when your marriage feels broken? It’s a question that feels simple in theory but crushing in practice. The moments when words hang heavy in the air, the arguments that circle the same ground, the quiet loneliness you feel when you thought marriage meant partnership—all of it can leave you exhausted and uncertain.

First, our relationship with God is primary. It is our foundation. Being tethered to the LORD is what will get you through everything else. This doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay or keeping silent about your hurt. Honoring God means choosing integrity in your actions, even when it’s tempting to lash out or shut down. It’s speaking truth in love, holding to your values, and seeking guidance in prayer and Scripture. It’s acknowledging that God sees your pain and is walking with you, even when your marriage feels fractured. Honoring God might also mean trusting Him with the parts of your marriage you cannot control, releasing anxiety and striving to be a vessel of His peace, even in tension-filled moments.

Honoring yourself is equally important. Many women in difficult marriages forget that caring for their own hearts, minds and bodies is not selfish—it’s essential. This can mean setting healthy boundaries around communication, expectations, or personal time. It can mean refusing to let constant criticism or unpredictability erode your sense of worth; for instance, walking away when harsh words are spoken over you, or bringing them immediately to the LORD for him to correct. Honoring yourself is a daily practice of self-respect, self-compassion, and remembering that God made you with value that isn’t defined by your spouse’s actions or feelings. It can also be as simple as taking a walk, journaling your thoughts, or saying “no” to something that would deplete you further—small acts of care that preserve your soul.

And what about the marriage itself? Even when it feels broken, there are ways to honor it without denying reality. Honoring your marriage might mean showing up with consistency, patience, and humility, keeping your side of the street clean, as they say in recovery. It might mean offering compromises or gestures of love while still advocating for what you need. It’s not about forcing peace where it doesn’t exist—it’s about stewarding what you can control, reflecting God’s grace, maintaining integrity in the relationship, and mostly perhaps—accepting your reality for what it is, as painful as that can be. These small, steady acts might feel insignificant in the moment, but they build trust over time.

Small, steady steps matter. A kind word, a thoughtful gesture, a prayer before a difficult conversation—these choices don’t fix everything overnight, but they plant seeds of hope and healing. Sometimes, honoring God, yourself, and your marriage feels messy, contradictory, or even frustrating. That’s okay. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You only need to show up each day committed to love rightly, care for your heart, and seek God’s guidance.

Even in a marriage that feels fragile, honoring these three—God, yourself, and your marriage—creates a foundation for hope, clarity, and growth. You may not see the full picture now, but steady faithfulness can carry you through the hardest seasons. You can choose grace over resentment, patience over frustration, and courage over despair. And in that, you are never alone—God is walking with you, guiding each step, and offering the strength to honor all three, even when your heart feels heavy.

If you’d like to go deeper, Better Way to Stay in my comprehensive companion guide for women in difficult marriages.