I have a friend who is getting a divorce. (Don’t even bother trying to figure out which friend. I now seem to have a TON of friends who are getting divorced.) And she just got royally screwed. (Again, don’t bother. For the same reason.)
A judge decided some things that were simply ridiculous and unfair and way more skewed to her future ex-husband and it was HORRIBLE. As in, I could possibly lose all faith in our country’s justice system kind of horrible.
I know, I know. Life isn’t fair. Nobody told us it would be. God didn’t tell us it would be. We don’t deserve anything good. Hell is what we really deserve so any crumb we get here on this earth is a gift.
I totally know all that.
And yet, the rub. Because this girl..…this girl is faithful. This girl is kind. This girl has the softest heart. This girl loves her two kids. This girl loves God. Some divorce situations, it’s hard to tell who the bad guy is and who the good guy is. Umm, there’s no question here. She’s not sinless but she did things right.
And she got screwed ten ways from Sunday.
So, as I was mulling over the news and wondering how the other lawyer can sleep at night, I asked myself this question:
What do you do when you love and obey and follow a just God who not only seems to abandon you in a situation, but actually appears to have thrown you under the bus?
I then answered myself, out loud, “I have no idea.”
And so here I sit. Some posts, I already know where I’m going with the topic, and a few – like today’s – I’m going to answer myself as I go.
I have lived a long time by this point. Forty-three years, proud to say. I’ve seen and heard and done a lot of things. And for the past twenty-eight of those years, I have been trying to understand and follow and love God. And something cool happens when you can look back on a nice long stretch of time. I can see seasons in my life where I was so close to God – as in I felt him in spectacular, tingly sort of ways – that I almost couldn’t stand it. And I have seen even more seasons when I was doing all the same things I’ve always done – prayer, Bible reading, small groups, church attendance, worship, serving, reminding myself of times past when God had come through, et cetera – and felt basically nothing. And yet, I just kept doing it. Because that’s what faithfulness is.
And more than a time or two in this crazy life of mine, I have walked through seasons when I felt as if God had up and left, but before walking out, he tripped me. Hmmm..…sort of sounds like the question I posed after the yucky news I heard, huh?
So what did I do when that happened to me – that apparent tripping followed by the apparent forsaking?
I did what I always did. I prayed. I read Scripture. I went to my small group. I went to church. I worshiped. I served. I reminded myself of times when God had come through. I et cetera’d. And I felt nothing. Strike that. I felt hurt and snubbed and alone. And yet, I just kept doing it. And that’s what she’s going to have to do. And that’s what she is going to do. And that’s what she is doing. Because that’s what faithfulness is, no matter the sucky circumstances swirling around us, no matter the injustices.
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