Many years ago, as I’ve shared here before, I was in the middle of a crisis that lasted four hundred and forty-one days. It was a big deal, it was the hardest thing I had ever gone through up to that point, I had no idea when it was going to end, and one of the potential endings was absolutely, life-changing-ly horrible.
I was seeing a counselor at the time who told me something that altered how I looked at living through pain from that moment on. She told me that our bodies were not designed to handle long bouts of stress, only short bursts. In other words, she was basically saying, this thing is super hard, and it’s okay if you’re freaking out. She gave me permission to freak out.
And I was. I was freaking out. I was going to Jesus every morning and baring my soul and begging him to help me throughout the day every day for four hundred and forty-one days, but I was still totally freaking out.
And I remember not feeling God’s promised peace, and being so upset about that. Upset with him that why did he have to go and promise it if he weren’t going to supply it (turns out his peace doesn’t always look like we think it should). And upset with myself because I clearly must not have been giving it over and laying it all down enough if I were still freaking out.
But as I’ve gotten older and as I’ve logged more hard times under my belt, I have come to realize something pretty important. There is a myth – I’d go so far as to say a lie – circulating throughout Christendom that goes like this: “God won’t give you more than you can handle.”
Bull! I know where they are getting this…it’s from I Corinthians 10:13 where God tells us we won’t be tempted beyond what we can bear. But nowhere in his Word does it say he won’t give us a burden too heavy for us to carry.
Of course he will, otherwise we would never, ever need him. He gives us a ton of things that are more than what we, as his fragile children, can sustain on our own.
I texted this to a friend recently who is going through a really big thing:
I believe that your anxiety is simply the natural, human emotional response to your body admitting it’s too much to handle (which it is). Your anxiety is not doubt in God and it is definitely not you not being Christian enough or mature enough. Baby, there is plenty of room in our faith – under God’s wing – for some falling apart. And I believe he not only understands, but expects it from us. Just walk through this as you, not striving to handle it “better”.Everyone freaks out. Jesus sweated blood before he went to the Cross, for goodness’ sakes!
Maybe when Paul talks about God’s grace being sufficient for us, maybe it doesn’t always mean that in every situation we’re going to feel supernatural strength to get through something. We may still have to drag our sorry selves through the thing; but maybe it means that there’s grace for us even when we’re kicking and screaming and crying and scared.
So today, if you’re freaking out about something, know that you’re in good company. Know that God can handle your emotions going all over the place. Know that his grace will seep into those rough places. Know that you will get through this – whatever this is – okay. It might not be the okay that you’re hoping for, but with Jesus, we will be okay.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. II Corinthians 12:9
exactly. very good post.
You’re so right! That verse is taken out of context, isn’t it? It’s talking about being tempted and God provided a way out, so we can bear the temptation. Thank you!
Psalm 38 is a perfect example of David crying out to the Lord, feeling like his burden was too heavy, and asking the Lord not to forsake him.
We can experience peace through Christ in the midst of the storm. I have experienced it. Peace in His presence. Yielding to His work and timing. If you continually freak out for that long you’re not trusting and not resting and letting go.
Matthew 11.28-30, 28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”
Philippians 4:4-9, 4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon. 6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. 8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
Proverbs 3:5-8, 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil. 8 Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
It is OK to freak out at first, but to continue to freak out for so long is not trusting the Lord. He promises peace in the midst of the storm (John 16:33, Psalm 23, see also Habakkuk 3:16-19). I’m not saying you can’t mourn over the loss of whatever it is (person, job, relationship…), we need to do that, but freaking is not trusting and resting.
As far as David crying out to God, this is true, many Psalms start that way, but most also end in praise and trust in the LORD. With a sense of rest and peace in the LORD. Even Psalm 38, mentioned above, has a verse of trust in the midst of the cries (v. 15). See also Psalms 25, 55 and 56 to name just a few.
1 Peter 5:6-11, 6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 8 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. 9 Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith. Remember that your Christian brothers and sisters b all over the world are going through the same kind of suffering you are. 10 In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation. 11 All power to him forever! Amen. —BlssdbyGod@aol.com
I agree! That expression used to make me crazy. After all, Jesus DEATH on the cross was “more than He could handle” and obviously Jesus was in the center of God’s will. Great post Elisabeth! Life is hard but God is good!!
This post could not have come at a more opportune time. I am freaking out today – probably one of my lowest days ever. Nothing seems to be going right – I just wrote in my journal about this. What I’ve done to deserve where I am in life at my age, worried about many things – job, money, life, etc… realized I take full blame for where I’m at, but also, can’t I catch a break! So, yes, this post saying it’s “okay” to feel freaked out, it’s a way of handling the stress of life sometimes, maybe just having resilience and the strength to keep going is what is going to determine my outcome. If I can get through these type of situations, not only will it be a learning lesson for me but also has to make me stronger – there has to be some message, some good to come out of this – as giving up is never an option, no mater what.
Beth,
I would be interested in reading a responses to Anonymous January 31, 2013 at 4:44 pm.
Elwin
Elwin, my experience is that I do not always feel God’s comfort or presence even though it’s promised to me. And I believe it’s not because God is lying or that I’m doing something wrong or not good enough or not yielding enough, but because simply, God’s ways are higher than our ways and his comfort and peace and presence won’t always look the way we think or hope. If God were completely understandable, he wouldn’t be worthy of our worship. So I’m okay with freaking out from time to time because I know a) that I will eventually (sometimes sooner than later gratefully) place it all in his hands, and b) God is sovereign enough to handle it when I do freak out.
Amen!!!
Elisabeth,
Thankful that you addressed the myth and typed the truth in love..of 1 Cor. 10:13. Also, your blog today reminded me of a day back in December 2005, when I was crying out to God to intervene in a very hard place I was in. I learned through that time of longsuffering that I was the one that needed to take the step and God would see me through the most difficult time in my life. For He is longsuffering and if I want to reflect Him in all ways…I had to grow in longsuffering…hard place…but hopefully better person because of it.
Thankful to know Jesus with you, my sister in Christ…..praying….
Thank you for your prayers for me, Carolyn!
Thank you for these wonderful words!! You are such a blessing, thank you!!!
Thank you, JoAnn…so kind.