This week it’s been brought to my attention that I possibly should not be writing at this time seeing as I’m still in pain, that perhaps what I’m offering up is not only not helpful but could be hurting my readers, even if inadvertently.
There is a reason, though, that I have chosen to write through my hard marriage and through my separation and through my divorce and its aftermath. Let’s say you find out you have leukemia. Would you rather read a book by someone who wrote about their journey from their chemo chair or a year or more passed their clean bill of health?
I have read just about every book out there on separation and divorce and I learned so much and I’m grateful to the people who wrote them. But not even one book that I came across was written from the middle of the pain. They were all written from a place of healing. Now, this has huge benefits; don’t get me wrong. The main one being that for those of us slogging through the pain, we can have hope seeing that others have made it to the other side.
But sometimes you want to hear from the person who is sitting in the chemo chair, who was just served divorce papers, who has just walked out of the courtroom, who just had their first holiday alone, who just watched their kids get picked up by their dad for the first time. You want to hear what they felt in the very moment that you are experiencing, not their vague recollection of how they felt about it a few years ago. (And I say this because I already barely remember my first Thanksgiving on my own, for instance.) And that’s what this blog has been about.
However, I want to sit with that observation and listen to what God has to say to me on this. My goals for this blog have been to pass along to hurting women God’s healing and love. To help women in difficult Christian marriages know they are not alone, know that they are not without hope. To support Christian women who are separated or divorced and remind them that their stories are not over, that God still loves them fully and will use their pain. And more recently, to advocate for those who find themselves in abusive marriages and let them know that help is available.
But if in the process of sharing my experiences and my heart, I have hurt people or led people astray, I am so sorry, and I need to think that through. For now, I simply plan to not write anything new this week, but we’ll see how that goes after that.
I’m grateful to you, my readers and audience…those walking this hard road right alongside me. God is with us all.