What's Next: How to Follow God in Every Season
When I was thirty-six years old, I lived in the sweetest little house. I absolutely loved that house, and if you had asked me then, I would have told you I planned to live there for the rest of my life.
I was married. I had two young kids. We'd been at the same church for about twelve years. I was the Women's Ministry Director there. I had wonderful friends. I was writing and speaking.
And I remember thinking one day, How is the Lord ever going to surprise me? My whole life is already figured out. It's all laid out in front of me.
And then...life happened.
My marriage ended.
Friends moved away.
My pastor left.
A large church came and adopted our little church.
Eventually I left my position.
Almost every part of the life I thought was permanent changed.
Ten years after I had that thought, I was living in a different house, married to a different husband, had three more children, attended a different church, wasn't on staff anymore, and was doing completely different ministry than I ever could have imagined.
If you had shown thirty-six-year-old Beth what my life would look like twenty years later, I honestly don't think I would have believed you.
But all of that taught me something.
Every season of our lives is, in some way, a waiting season.
We're almost always asking, "What's next?"
Sometimes we're waiting for a relationship.
Sometimes we're waiting for a job.
Sometimes we're waiting for healing.
Sometimes we're waiting for clarity.
Sometimes we're waiting for God to answer a prayer we've been praying for years.
When we're little, we're waiting for Christmas or our birthday. Then we're waiting for middle school. Then high school. Then college. Then graduation. Then our first apartment. Maybe marriage. Maybe kids. Maybe retirement. We are almost always waiting for something.
The question isn't whether we'll wait.
The question is how we'll wait.
And I think there's something especially unique about being in your twenties.
For many of you, this is your first real adult "what's next?" season.
Up until now, there has been a pretty natural path. Whether you went to public school, private school, or homeschool, there was kindergarten through twelfth grade. Your parents or another caregiver were largely steering the ship. You may have been waiting for high school or college or graduation, but someone else was helping make many of those big decisions along the way.
Now you're in this season that I'm just going to broadly call the "after college" years, even though I know all of your stories look a little different.
This is probably the first season where the decisions feel entirely yours.
Should I stay here or move?
Should I take this job?
Should I go to graduate school?
Should I date him?
Should I end this relationship?
Should I buy a house?
Should I move across the country?
And those decisions can feel incredibly heavy because it feels like every decision determines the rest of your life.
It's easy to think, If I choose this path, what if I miss the other one? What if God's best was over there? What if I accidentally ruin His plan for my life?
I'd love to take just one layer of that fear off your shoulders tonight.
Because I think this is where we bump into one of the beautiful mysteries of following Jesus.
God is completely sovereign.
And somehow, at the very same time, He has given us real choices.
Do I fully understand how those two things work together?
Not even close.
I don't think anyone does.
But I do know this: if you're sincerely trying to walk with the Lord—if you're praying, seeking wisdom, reading Scripture, listening to wise counsel, and you're not choosing obvious sin—I think you have a lot more freedom than you probably realize.
Sometimes we picture God in heaven watching us stand at a crossroads, terrified we're going to pick the wrong road. We imagine Him saying, "Oh no...she picked the wrong job! I had this whole other plan, and now what are we going to do?"
I just don't think that's who God is.
One of my precious mentors—who also happens to be Sitota's adorable grandmother—told me something years ago that I've never forgotten.
She said, "God plays the ball where it lands."
Which is completely ironic because she is not sporty whatsoever.
I've thought about that phrase for years.
In the beautiful mystery of God's sovereignty and our free will, He already knows every path we could take, and yet He faithfully works within the choices we make.
If you choose one job, Jesus will walk with you there.
If you choose another job, Jesus will walk with you there too.
If you stay in Illinois, He'll be there.
If you move to Tennessee, He'll already be waiting for you.
He isn't limited to blessing only one possible future.
He walks with us wherever we're faithfully following Him.
Personally, I even believe that's true in relationships. I don't believe there's only one soulmate somewhere on the planet that you have to magically find or you've missed God's will forever. I believe God works beautifully within our choices. He works through our obedience. He works through our willingness to follow Him. He is so much bigger than our fear of making the wrong decision.
The problem is, sometimes that fear keeps us from making any decision at all.
We overthink.
We analyze every possibility.
We wait for absolute certainty before taking a single step.
And that reminds me of another piece of advice that has stayed with me for more than thirty-five years.
When I was trying to decide which college to attend, I was absolutely stuck. I was convinced that if I picked the wrong school, I'd somehow miss God's plan for my life. I literally remember thinking, What if my future husband is at the other college? What if my calling is over there instead?
One of the verses that has helped me hold those two ideas of God’s sovereignty and our free will together is Proverbs 16:9. It says,
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
I love that verse because it doesn't say we sit around waiting for God to make every decision for us. It assumes we're making plans. We're praying. We're thinking. We're asking for wisdom. We're choosing. And somehow, in the middle of all of that, the Lord is faithfully establishing our steps.
I think that's one of the clearest pictures in Scripture of this beautiful mystery we've been talking about. We make real choices, and God is still completely sovereign.
Which brings me to another piece of advice that's stayed with me for more than thirty-five years...
My youth pastor's wife said, "God doesn't move parked cars." I mean, He can...but He typically doesn't.
Now, that's obviously not Scripture. You won't find that verse anywhere in your Bible. But I actually think the principle behind it is.
One of my favorite stories is in Joshua 3, when the Israelites are getting ready to cross the Jordan River. God had promised to take them into the Promised Land, but when they got there, the river was still flowing. It wasn't already parted. It wasn't like they walked up and thought, "Well, obviously this is what God wants us to do because look how easy He's made it."
No. The priests actually had to step into the water first.
Can you imagine that?
They're carrying the Ark of the Covenant, walking toward a flooded river, and I'm sure at least one of them was thinking, "Lord...are You sure about this?"
But they stepped anyway.
And it wasn't until their feet touched the water that God stopped the river and made a way.
I think that's such a beautiful picture of what faith often looks like.
Sometimes we think that if God is leading us, every door will fly open, every light will turn green, and there will be giant flashing neon signs pointing us exactly where we're supposed to go.
Sometimes that happens. But a lot of the time, most of the time...it doesn't.
A lot of the time, God simply says, "Take the next step."
Send the application.
Make the phone call.
Have the conversation.
Ask the question.
Apply for the job.
Look at apartments.
Reach out to people you trust for advice, prayer, ideas, connections.
Do the next thing you know to do, and trust Me with everything after that.
I think following Jesus often requires courage.
Sometimes it requires creativity.
I think about my son Jack. A few years ago he really wanted to work at a sports complex. The problem was...they weren't hiring.
Most of us would have looked online, seen there weren't any openings, and thought, "Well...I guess that's my answer."
But instead, he walked in anyway.
He introduced himself, told them about his experience, shared what he thought he could bring to their organization, and they ended up creating a position just for him.
Now, I know that doesn't happen every day. I'm not saying if you just show up somewhere they'll magically create your dream job.
But what if he had never walked in?
What if he had decided that "no openings" automatically meant "God must be saying no"?
He never would have known.
Sometimes the next faithful step simply looks like having the courage to ask.
Other times, it looks less like courage and more like perseverance.
Twenty-six years ago I wrote my very first book. And fifty-two publishers rejected it. Fifty-two.
When I tell people that, they usually laugh, but at the time it wasn't funny.
Every rejection felt personal.
Every rejection made me wonder if maybe I wasn't actually supposed to be a writer after all.
Then publisher number fifty-three said yes.
Can you imagine if I had decided after publisher number ten that God must be closing the door? Or after twenty? Or even after fifty?
I wouldn't have written eighteen books. I wouldn't have had the privilege of encouraging women through something that has become one of the greatest joys of my life.
And that's why I want you to remember this: Sometimes a human "no" isn't God's "no."
Sometimes it's simply part of the journey.
Sometimes God is building perseverance in us while we're waiting for the answer.
There's another verse that I've wrestled with over the years. Psalm 84 says, "The Lord withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless."
I'll be honest—that verse used to bother me a little.
Because I could immediately think of all kinds of good things that I didn't have.
A healthy marriage.
An answered prayer.
A different circumstance.
Healing.
So what does that verse mean?
Here's where I've landed.
I don't think it's saying that if something feels good to me, God will automatically give it to me.
I think it's saying that because He is a good Father, He will never withhold something that is truly good and truly right for me.
And if He hasn't given me something yet, I have learned to trust that it isn't because He's forgotten me or because He doesn't love me.
It's because He sees things I simply can't see yet.
Now...that doesn't mean waiting is easy.
It doesn't mean disappointment doesn't hurt.
It doesn't mean we won't have questions.
But it does mean I can trust the heart of my Father even when I don't understand His timing.
And honestly, I think that's where this whole conversation keeps leading us.
"So maybe you're sitting there thinking, 'Okay...this all sounds really encouraging. But what do I actually do when I'm trying to make a decision?'
That's a great question.
I wish I could tell you I have some magical formula where God sends me a text message every time I need to make a big decision, but...He hasn't done that yet. 😊
I definitely haven't made every decision perfectly over the last forty years, but I have noticed a handful of things that consistently help me. None of these replace prayer. None of these replace the Holy Spirit. They're simply ways I slow myself down enough to pay attention. In fact they’re all done in prayer and with the Spirit.
So, first things first, we’re asking the Lord every day, what do you want me to do? We’re asking the Lord with every decision, what do you want me to do? We’re asking people who love us to pray for guidance for us.
Then, I almost always write everything down.
I'm a huge believer in pros and cons lists. I know that sounds simple, but there is something powerful about seeing your thoughts in black and white instead of letting them bounce around in your head. It forces me to slow down. Sometimes I'll even make two separate lists—one for staying and one for leaving, or one for Job A and one for Job B—and just seeing everything on paper brings so much clarity.
The second thing I do is what I call "trying on" the decision.
This one sounds a little funny, but it's helped me so many times. I'll pretend I've already made the decision. Maybe I'll tell myself, "Okay...I've decided to stay." Then I'll live with that decision for a day or two. I'll pray. I'll journal. I'll notice what happens inside me. Do I feel peaceful? Relieved? Excited? Or is there something that just doesn't sit right?
Then I'll flip it. "Okay...now I've decided to go."
Again, I'll pray, journal, and pay attention.
A little trick I learned is the coin-flip experiment. Now, I’m not saying you make your decisions on a coin flip, but when my son was trying to decide between two colleges and he was really stuck, we gave one college heads and the other college tails and I said, the one it lands on is the college you’re going to, then I flipped the coin. I was looking for his kneejerk reaction to what it landed on. Was he going to smile or would I see his face drop? Again, not making a decision based off that, but your gut reaction to something can be important information as to how you’re really feeling about something.
Now let me say something important. Just because you're anxious doesn't automatically mean it's the wrong decision. Sometimes you're anxious because you're doing something brave. Learning the difference between fear and the Holy Spirit's gentle nudging takes time. I'm still learning it.
The third thing I do is remind myself what's actually true.
Because fear gets loud.
Overthinking gets loud.
The opinions of other people get loud.
So I intentionally come back to Scripture.
God says in Scripture that we've been given the mind of Christ. He says He's given us a sound mind, not a spirit of fear. And Jesus tells us He didn't leave us alone to figure life out. He's given us His Holy Spirit—our Counselor—who actually lives within us.
That changes everything.
I'm not trying to figure out my life by myself. I'm asking the Holy Spirit, "Would You guide me? Would You show me what I'm missing? Would You give me wisdom?"
The fourth thing I do is invite wise people into the conversation.
Proverbs tells us there's wisdom in many counselors.
Now, I don't mean asking fifteen different people until someone finally tells you what you wanted to hear.
I mean asking the people who know you well.
People who love Jesus.
People who love you enough to tell you the truth.
Sometimes they see things that we simply can't see because we're standing too close to the situation.
With that said, girls…you will not be standing holding your parents’ hand or your pastor’s hand or your boyfriend’s or husband’s hand before the LORD…your life is yours. You get to live your own life and make your own decisions, with the Lord.
And finally...this is probably the one I need to remind myself of the most...
Calm down. Seriously.
Most decisions, truly, are not life and death. Most decisions, for the most part, can be undone if we get going down the path and we’re like, this was a bad call.
I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to make the perfect decision, as if one wrong choice is going to send our entire lives off the rails. I just don't think that's how our Father works. I don’t think that’s how life works.
Can we make unwise decisions? Absolutely. And spoiler alert: you’re going to. It’s okay, you’re human!
Can there be consequences? Sometimes, maybe; or maybe God will play the ball where it lands.
I have watched God redeem, redirect, restore, and faithfully lead my life over and over again.
And I think sometimes we put way too much pressure on ourselves.
We spend so much of our lives trying to figure out what decision God wants us to make.
But what if He's actually more interested in who we're becoming while we're making it?
What if He's less concerned about whether you move to Indianapolis or Nashville, and more concerned that wherever you live, you're becoming a person who walks closely with Jesus?
What if He's less interested in whether you choose Job A or Job B, and more interested in teaching you to trust Him in either one?
That doesn't make our decisions unimportant. They matter.
But I think sometimes we carry a weight God never asked us to carry.
Because once again, we're back to that beautiful mystery.
God is completely sovereign AND
We have real choices. We pray. We seek wisdom. We take the next faithful step.
And somehow, through all of that, He faithfully shepherds us.
I don't completely understand how those two things fit together.
I just know I've lived long enough to tell you that He has never stopped leading me. Not once.
Even when I couldn't see it at the time.
And as someone who has made many, what I would call, mistakes or missteps, I can gratefully say I have loved my life.
What if I told you that as long as you’re trying to walk with Jesus, and even in the seasons when you’re not so much, you really can’t mess up your life? I mean, sure you can but also, you really, really can’t. Because you will always be in the palm of his hands.
Girls, I married the quote-unquote wrong guy at the age of 23. I knew we would have a hard marriage but I was stubborn and I was afraid I wouldn’t find anyone else, so I forced a square peg into a round hole, and we went on to have a horrible marriage that ended in divorce. Hang with me here. AND we had the best children I could have ever dreamed of and they are not my wrong-path children, because God is kind and faithful and good, and I still lived a beautiful life of ministry and have the best friends despite the choices I made at your age.
Finally—for those of you not married in this room, you’re free…like, you are at a unique stage in your life to follow the Lord anywhere doing anything that he might be leading you to do, to get to make these choices on your own. So, enjoy that freedom while you have it!
And no matter what happens, everything will be okay. Even when you don’t feel okay, it will all be okay, because we know how this Bigger Story ends.
As we wrap up, let me leave you with a few questions to take with you this week. Maybe write them in your journal, talk them over with a friend, or simply bring them to the Lord. You can find them in the show notes as well.
What am I waiting for right now?
What decision or "what's next?" question feels most significant to me right now? How have I been approaching it?
If I weren't afraid of making the "wrong" decision, what do I think I would do?
Who are the wise people God has placed in my life, and have I invited them into this decision?
Looking back on my life, where can I already see that God was leading me, even when I couldn't see it at the time?
Psalm 37 (NLT)
3 Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
4 Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
5 Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
7 Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.
23 The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
24 Though they stumble, they will never fall,
for the Lord holds them by the hand.
Let me give you one prayer to start praying as all or most of you are in a season of what’s next in at least one area if not more or all of your lives, and it’s this: Lord, take me an adventure. Show me the way.
Before You Go...
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