Words Matter
When I was in my 20s and 30s, I probably said about 75% of what I was thinking and kept 25% to myself. I was involved in so many conflicts at my church of 19 years that I jokingly said I should get a plaque for most Matthew 18s. I’m not sure why I felt I could say...
You Can Be in an Abusive Marriage and Not Know You’re in an Abusive Marriage
I think most people think of abused women as mousy, as cowards, with black eyes hidden under thick make-up, as – as harsh as this sounds – fools or, worse yet, just plain idiots. Because who would willingly stay in an abusive marriage? What kind of woman wouldn’t be...
All the Hard Things I Need to Say But Never Want to Say
“You are not your client’s friend.” I’m not?? “Say the things that no one else is saying to her.” But I don’t want to. I want to just tell her she’s amazing and to keep going and Jesus loves her. I’ve had a few clients who have made choices I wouldn’t make, who made...
Do Not Try to Win Your Husband Back
When I was in trying-to-save-my-marriage mode for that fifteen or so year stretch, I asked for a lot of help and advice and read a lot of books and prayed a lot of prayers and I put several things in place in an attempt to turn things around. Things like: *I was...
Not the Only One
There is a family I admire. (I do not know this family in real life.) But the couple is in their 60s, together their entire adult lives, their three children are in their late 20s and early 30s. All married. All love Jesus. All passionate about life and their...
Taking Our Thoughts Captive Before They Take Us Hostage
If you’re anything at all like me, you can tend to battle obsessive thoughts. I’ve heard it called monkey mind, mind on fire, or swirly panic. It’s when a thought (or more than one) fills your mind and you feel as if you can’t not think that thought, like the thought...
Why I Don’t Have a Bucket List
When I think bucket list, I think of people who are able to rattle off fun things they’d like to do and cool places they’d like to go, before they die. The phrase bucket list comes from another phrase kick the bucket. I know people who feel like they must jam-pack...
When Someone Doesn’t Love You Back
Some people – no matter how much you love them and how much you pursue them or how much you apologize – will never love you back or will never give you what you wish they’d give you or will never forgive you. This is not your fault. And this is only sometimes their...
Hear Me Roar?
This morning I was thinking about how when I was married the first time, I did what another person told me to do, and I didn’t do what I was told not to do. Not all the time. But a lot of the time. And, to be clear, it’s not like I was told to join in with him on porn...