When I was in seventh grade, I was imagining things.  I was imagining that my mom was unsafe when I was at school, so I would pretend to be sick to stay home and take care of her.  And when I was home alone, I would imagine that someone else was in our apartment with us.  One time, I even hid in my mom’s closet for a couple hours.  I wouldn’t have known on my own at that age that I needed help, but my mom did and she had me start meeting with the school counselor.

When my first engagement was broken, I was desperately sad.  I even drove to Iowa on a whim (though I only got forty-five minutes from home before turning around because I didn’t want my mom to worry).  When I went back to college in the fall, I saw a counselor to try to pick up the pieces.

When I first noticed that hidden alcohol was being consumed in my home all those years ago, I asked for help from a woman from church.  Though she loves God very much, she didn’t know what to do for me, so I remained without help for years and years.

During my first marriage, we saw many counselors together over the years, but it wasn’t until I was crying and practically hyperventilating on a counselor’s couch about year fifteen that it was suggested to me that I try AlAnon (and going to AlAnon changed my life).

So, how do you know when it’s time to get help, physically, emotionally, relationally or spiritually?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  An example would be if you eat raw chocolate chip cookie dough each night before bed, and then you woke up in the middle of the night with a stomachache and had to throw up; and then you did the same thing the next night and the next night, and you keep getting sick.  This should be no surprise.

It’s time to get outside help when you realize that what you’ve been doing repeatedly isn’t changing your situation.
And it’s time to get outside help when you realize that you don’t know what else to do to change your situation.

Sometimes we will find ourselves in circumstances or with problems that are too big for us to handle on our own.  Something like realizing your husband is having an affair or has a pornography or alcohol or drug addiction or is abusing you or your ex-husband isn’t respectful of your boundaries or is parenting in a way that scares you. These are all things that can be too complicated to figure out on our own because we can be too emotionally invested or too close to the situation to see what’s real and what’s not.

When you find yourself in a situation like this, here’s what you can do:

Pray.  Ask God for wisdom.  He promises in James 1 that he will give it to you.

Read the Bible. Look up verses that have to do with your situation and follow God’s wisdom.

Do your part, what you know to be right.  Meaning, if you’re about to lose your job because you keep skipping work, get yourself to work tomorrow and the next day and the day after that. If you’re being abused, steer clear of the person as much as possible, and don’t say unkind things back.

Talk to someone you trust.  The Bible talks about much wisdom being among many wise counselors.  If the only person you’re listening to is yourself, you could be led astray time and time again, especially in your pain and potential bitterness.  You need to hear what you need to hear, not what you want to hear.

If you don’t have a mentor or wise friend to share with, I would love to work with you as a coach.

Get counseling.  There will be times in your life when you feel stuck, when you don’t know what decision to make, when life is just too confusing and complicated.  An unbiased third party can help you see details from different angles and can offer solutions you hadn’t even thought of yet.

Join a group. In my Facebook coaching group WholeHearted, we are walking each other through this life into deeper wholeness with God, ourselves and each other. It’s a beautiful thing and you are welcome.

Jesus does not expect us to get through life without needing help.  If he did, a) he wouldn’t have needed to come for us, and b) he wouldn’t have given us family and friends and the Church.  We are supposed to need him and need other people to get through life.  It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help, it’s a sign of wisdom and it’s a sign of strength.

Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. -Proverbs 15:22


I am a words’ girl and I have spent most of my life writing. I’m excited about a new offering I’ve curated because now you can share some of the hope & truth that I’ve created! You can post my quote-memes on Facebook & Instagram, use them as screensavers for your phone or computer, or send them via text or email to friends. And each purchase of my quote-memes will go into my pay-it-forward-sponsorship fund to help even more women experience the hope and healing of God. Win-win!

grab a few of your favorite images here: https://elisabethklein.com/quotes/



wholeness help:
*my podcast – All That to Say: https://anchor.fm/elisabeth-klein
*Facebook group for all women: https://elisabethklein.com/join-wholehearted-group/
*top 10 tips for taking care of you: https://elisabethklein.com/top-ten-tips/
*webcast: who am I now (that I’m not who I thought I was)??: https://elisabethklein.com/who-am-i-now/
*fill out this coaching survey and I’ll respond with a custom coaching proposal: bit.ly/how-is-your-life-working

in a difficult marriage?
*if you’re not safe or if you or your children are being physically or sexually hurt, please set up a safety plan (http://www.ncdsv.org/images/DV_Safety_Plan.pdf) and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233)
*Detaching with Love webcast: https://elisabethklein.com/detaching-with-love-1/
*marriage assessment: http://bit.ly/marriage-assessment
*my 3-month e-course, Marriage Methods (now PAY WHAT YOU CAN): https://bit.ly/marriage-methods-pwyc

if you’re in a difficult marriage with biblical grounds to divorce and you’re trying to decide whether to stay or go:
*my 5-week e-course, Decision Time: https://elisabethklein.com/product/decisiontime/

separated or divorced or single mom?
*grab my book, Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage: bit.ly/UnravelingMarriage
*Lies We Tell Ourselves webcast: https://elisabethklein.com/lies-we-tell/
*Are You Ready to Date quiz: https://elisabethklein.com/partner-quiz/
*my 3-month e-course, Heartbreak to Hope (now PAY WHAT YOU CAN): https://bit.ly/Heartbreak-to-Hope-pwyc

if you don’t know what you need:
*fill out this coaching survey and I’ll respond with a custom coaching proposal: bit.ly/how-is-your-life-working
*set up a coaching call: https://elisabethklein.com/coaching-calls-1/ 

STARTING 2/1/2023:
Marriage Methods (for women in difficult marriages): https://bit.ly/marriage-methods-pwyc
Heartbreak to Hope (for women who are separated or divorced): https://bit.ly/Heartbreak-to-Hope-pwyc

Taking a few moments to sit quietly and focus your heart and mind on Jesus is one of the best things you can do for yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically. Enjoy this free gift of guided meditations.

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