We took our young adult children and grandchildren on a family vacation. There were fourteen of us between the ages of 4 months and 55 years.

It was a lot of preparation. It was some anxiety (mostly on my end). It was filled with plenty of sweet moments and some hard ones.

But this is what I wrote before we left and this is what I read a couple times each day:

 

 

 

 

 

And I realized after the trip that, for the most part, this can be my new policy regarding our children across the board.

I wrote in my journal recently:

Lord, should I share with {so-and-so} my concern about {such-and-such}?
And should I share with {so-and-so} my concern about {such-and-such}?
And should I share with {so-and-so} my concern about {such-and-such}?

pause

The Spirit perhaps: I love your heart for the people you love. But. They are all adults and none of them asked you, so perhaps for now, zip it and stay in your lane. And, why not cast your cares on Me because I care for you and for them? I will “perfect all that which concerns you”. I love them so much too.

And also, I realized this: me being sad or worried for any of our children does not alleviate their sadness or worry, though I wish it did! It just makes me more sad and more worried.

It’s amazing to me truly how long this is taking me. I know it in my head – that they’re all technically grown-ups, that I’ve done my part, that I need to let go, that they are capable of making their own decisions, that they are responsible for themselves, that I wasn’t checking in with my parents at their age, blah blah blah – and yet my heart…ugh, my heart…I just miss them so much. I just want to know so much more.

On our vacation, I had this one moment after one of them shared a small something with me: this is my life now…just bits and pieces…and it’s not enough. They were all there and I missed them while we were together. And yet, it’s my reality and it’s what I absolutely must get used to. Because I don’t want to be the mom who is clawing for one more piece of information, who texts too much (confession: I AM that mom though not nearly as much as I used to be…and if only they knew how many texts I want to send but don’t!).

I want to be the mom who they want to share with, that I’m there when they’re ready for me to be there, who is living her own life.

So, that is what I’m trying to do. Live my life. Let them live theirs. Give my heart over to Jesus, giving them to Jesus over and over. And being grateful for what they give.

Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you. -I Peter 5:7

The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. -Psalm 138:8

And by the way, if one of your children is launching, why not take some time to process and grieve with my four-week e-course, Emptying Your Nest.