Okay, ladies, let’s get something straight, shall we?

Your number one main life pursuit should not be about a man:

-finding a man if you’re single
-coaxing your man to propose to you if you’re ready to get moving along
-fixing your man if you’re married
-begging your man to love you if he doesn’t
-leaving your man if you’re bored or unhappy
-showing your man what he’s missing if you’re separated
-looking for a new man if you’re divorced or widowed


I can hear the mumblings already and I need you to quit it. Yes, I am married. So, sure, ‘it’s easy for you to say that it’s not about a man…’

Okay, really?

Keep this in mind:

I’ve been single.
I’ve dated.
I’ve been dumped
I’ve been engaged.
I’ve had my engagement (and heart) broken.
I’ve been married.
I’ve been in a hard marriage (and heartbroken).
I’ve been separated (and heartbroken).
I’ve been divorced (and heartbroken).
I’ve been single again.
I’ve dated again.
I’ve been dumped (and heartbroken) again.
I’ve been engaged again.
I’ve been married again.

In each one of those circumstances – including now being married to a kind man – this truth has remained:


Your life is not about finding or fixing or leaving or showing or looking FOR A MAN.

It’s just not.

Your pursuit should be laser-focused, yes.

But, girls, your partner in holiness and healing and wholeness and happiness is not some illusive human prince charming.

Whether you have never been married or are happily married or are horribly married or are miserably divorced or longingly widowed – and I say this with the deepest compassion and love – YOUR LIFE WILL NOT BE COMPLETED BY ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

So, the good news in all of that is that you can stop. Just stop, honey. It’s exhausting. I know, I’ve been there! You must be so freaking tired.

But here’s the BEST NEWS in all of this: you DO have a partner in holiness and healing and wholeness and happiness – IN ALL THINGS – and it is God, not some boy…not even some really good man.

We’ve all got a happily-ever-after to look forward to, girls. It’s just not here and it’s just not now and it’s just not with some man.

So what do you do?

Ask GOD to fill you up.
Ask GOD to remind you that you came into this world and started this day already fully loved.
Ask GOD to remind you that you have no love to beg for FROM ANYONE and nothing to prove TO ANYONE.
Ask GOD to help you FEEL LOVED – tangibly, intimately, personally, specifically.
Ask GOD to open your heart and mind to his love that – I’m not kidding – can satisfy you, can change your life, can heal you.

And until then…eyes on Jesus, sweet girls, and you keep walking.

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.
-II Corinthians 4:18 NLT



If you are in a difficult marriage and you’re trying to stay but need some new tools, let’s get you going through MarriageMethods.

If you are in a difficult marriage and you’re contemplating divorce, let’s take you through Decision Time first.

If you are divorced and are lonely and want to make sure you’re getting as healed as you can be, Heartbreak to Hope is for you.

And if something is just missing but you’re not sure what, let’s talk.

Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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