I have had the privilege to work with over 100 women one-on-one over the past few years.  And I thought it would be helpful to give you a glimpse behind-the-scenes of what the coaching process looks and feels like, from the perspective of one of my clients.

It starts with a sweet woman filling out a coaching questionnaire, then I follow up with her by providing a custom coaching package proposal. If she says let’s do this, we get started usually within a few days or a week, depending on her schedule. Most packages include coaching calls and I asked one of my sweet clients to share her experience with you.

Elisabeth: Nicole, you and I have been working together for several months. What was going on in your life when you first reached out to me?

Nicole:  Ohhh, I felt like I was falling apart and like I was a failure as a mom, wife, Christian, human being.  I was newly separated from my ex, just moved to a new city/state to be closer to family with my toddler son, and I had quit my full-time job to work part time remotely so I could do what I needed to do with this new life.  I was functioning but EVERYTHING was hard, and I clung to God as He started to show me some reasons as to how I ended up where I was.  I was literally being broken apart to be put back together.  I know now when people say that divorce is awful – it is.

Elisabeth: What nudged you to connect with me to start coaching?

Nicole:  I knew I needed more help.  I had problems in the past with isolating myself when things got hard, which led to some of my poor decision-making in the past.  I knew I needed to connect with people who knew God, who prioritized Him, and who could relate to some of what I was going through.  I had no close friends who could relate.  I was seeing a counselor, attending Divorce Care, and trying to stay connected to people.  But I felt like I needed more, and I’m glad I didn’t ignore that feeling.  I basically Googled “divorce Christian woman”, or something like that, and found you.  I read some of your work and realized that you have a heart for hurting women, and you have experienced a lot in terms of hard marriages, and that you prioritize God in a real way.

Elisabeth: We’ve had several coaching calls. Can you explain what those are like from your perspective as a client?

Nicole:  I feel like I am talking with a coach.  It’s different than talking with my counselor because she is a mental health professional, so she has to maintain a good amount of personal distance from me while she is counseling me (which is understandable).  But talking with you I feel like I am being supported, not judged, and I feel like I am talking with someone who has this incredible skill to get to the heart of a matter in a very short amount of time.  I used to kind of scoff at people who talked about their “life coaches”, but now I get it.  During these coaching calls I feel like someone is in my corner and cares about my success, who sees my areas of strength and acknowledges them, but who is honest about areas I could/should focus on.  I feel better after talking with you, and I always walk away with at least a couple of truths that I can work on and give me a goal.

Elisabeth: On our last call, you said to me, “I see you’re not taking any new clients…does that mean I’m off your list?” I said absolutely not! But tell me why these calls and this relationship has been important to you?

Nicole:  This is important to me because I am seeing real results.  I need support, I simply cannot do life alone, and I’m going through some stuff that is just beyond me.  I mean, that is all of life, but right now I have several challenges to face that I have never faced before and I need someone to help me.  I trust your opinion, your value system, your honesty, and I know that you care about my well being and the well being of those I’m connected to.  I don’t feel like an alien when I talk to you, and frankly being a separated/soon to be divorced Christian woman with a toddler makes me feel like a complete alien from time to time (like I said, right now I don’t have any close friends who have similar life stories).  God is teaching me that really bad things happen when I isolate myself and I just cannot risk that, especially since my son is depending on me.  I’m grateful for these calls, they really do help.

Without counsel, plans go awry,
But in the multitude of counselors they are established.
-Proverbs 15:22

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Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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