About five minutes ago, I gave birth to my daughter and then about five minutes later, I gave birth to my son. And about three minutes ago, I walked my daughter to kindergarten.
Sara was clinging to my legs as we stood in line on the playground.
I leaned down and whispered, do you want me to pray for you?
She said yes.
I knelt next to her and began whispering a prayer in her ear, Jesus…
That’s as far as I got.
Because Sara stopped me and said, Pray? I thought you said you’d pay me. Never mind.
And then a few more minutes went by. And my kids learned to ride bikes and do their own homework and go to sleepovers and make decisions and changed schools and went through their parents’ horrible divorce (ugh) and learned how to drive and went on dates and graduated from high school and went to college.
Yep, that was all about ten minutes ago. At least, it feels like that.
They are almost 22-/12 and 21, so, it clearly was not ten minutes ago.
And now, now my daughter has graduated from college and is – can you believe this? – engaged to be married to a sweet young man who will take care of her heart for the rest of their lives.
And both kids are moving back home – Jack for the summer before his Senior year, and Sara until her wedding.
And then they’ll be gone again; this time, Sara for good.
And I’m barreling headfirst into menopause. And I feel old. And a bit more tired than I’d like.
But, you know what?
I also feel like I’ve been around the block a few times, in a really good way. Like I know a thing or two because I’ve seen a thing or two (thanks, insurance commercial!).
But more than all of that, I am an extraordinarily grateful woman.
I’ve led a deeply good life. God has given me deeply precious relationships and people to care for. And pain and pain and pain and all, and I would not change one second of my life.
So here’s to all the good and the bad.
Here’s to all the beauty and the pain.
And here’s to every single change that is still up ahead, because that’s all we can really count on, isn’t.
Oh, and Jesus. We can totally always always count on Jesus to get us through.
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