Though I don’t believe that prayer is like having a genie in a bottle grant you all your wishes, I do believe that prayer is mysterious and even magical in its own way. It connects us to Something bigger and outside ourselves, to Someone in control of all the things we don’t have control over. And, somehow – and I don’t get this part – prayer softens hearts…the person we’re praying for, yes, but also our own. Beauty and grace altogether.
Being remarried can be amazing but also tricky. We’ve both got baggage and years of relating to someone else and memories and triggers and perhaps a few kids tossed into the mix. There’s a lot going on when two people get married after being married to someone else. I believe that the statistics that show that subsequent marriages end more frequently in divorce that first marriages highlights that we have an enemy who doesn’t want our current marriage to survive either. So we need to fight.
You can pray for your marriage and your husband in a way that no other person can. So I want to encourage you to pray for the next seven days over your marriage, despite the chaos, or maybe even because of it. It won’t make everything perfect, of course, but if you believe, it will do something.
The prayers of a righteous person are powerful and effective. –James 5:16b
Day 1: Your heart.
Jesus, I lift up my heart to you. It is still a bit fragile, still a bit vulnerable, still a bit scared, no matter how long ago my divorce was. I am terrified of being hurt again, of going through what I went through again. I ask that you will both soften and protect my heart. Amen.
Day 2: Our past.
Jesus, I lift up our pasts to you. You know every detail of both of our lives. You saw the ways we hurt our first spouses, you saw the moments they hurt us. You were at our first wedding and you were at our divorce date. You walked us through everything. I ask that you will sever all emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical ties between me and my ex-husband and between my husband and his ex-wife. Amen.
Day 3: Our baggage.
Jesus, I lift our baggage to you. We both have so much. (You know, you’ve seen it.) Please shine your light of holiness and righteousness over it all. Please expose every dark corner. Please help us bring everything out into the open with each other, sharing our burdens and keeping nothing secret. Help us not to treat each other the way we treated our first spouses. Protect us from being triggered when something happens that reminds us of the pain of our first marriage. Build up our trust of each other. Keep us focused on the now and on our future, together. Amen.
Day 4: Our children.
Jesus, I lift up our children to you. Whether they don’t speak to us or love both of us, they didn’t ask to become children of divorce, and they didn’t ask for a stepparent. This is not easy for any of us. Please soften the rough edges. Please give us as adults the wisdom and grace to lead them well through this transition. Help us know when to say something and when to keep our mouths shut, to our children and to our spouse about their children. Be the center of the new relationships forming, and help us remember to take a longer view, knowing that deep and important things take time. Amen.
Day 5: Our spiritual journey.
Jesus, I lift up our individual and collective faith to you. Please become the center of our relationship. Where we have become lazy in prayer or Bible reading on our own or together, please nudge us back to you. Please remind us to come to you when we’re confused or in pain or hurting each other. Draw both of us closer to you and to each other. Remind us that we are loved completely by you and help us find our security in that truth, allowing us to love each other out of that deep love and grace. Stretch our faith in you. Help us become a couple who enjoys worshiping, praying and serving together, who truly experience you as our best thing. Amen.
Day 6: Our future.
Jesus, I lift up our future to you. Please give us dreams that we can both share, and individual dreams that we can each support. Help us enjoy our present moments but always choose to look just ahead rather than back. Give us an eternal perspective of life, a deep desire to build your kingdom together in ways that only we as a couple can. Amen.
Day 7: Our oneness.
Jesus, I lift up our oneness to you. Protect us from anyone or anything that seeks to encroach upon our relationship, that seeks to steal time from us, that seeks to destroy our unity. Help us become each other’s safest place, closest companion, biggest fan, best friend and lover. Help us put each other first above all others. Place a protective barrier around us and strengthen our unity from the inside out. Let no man put asunder what you have brought together. Give us both the desire to fight for our marriage. This can all be really hard but it’s so worth it…we need you. Amen.