This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
Sisters, God has taken an individual that the enemy wanted to throw in the trash and he breathed in his Living Spirt.
My growing up included many family gatherings around our dinner table. Fun in the backyard pool with family and lots of parties with our neighborhood friends. I had a stay at home Mother. Lots of brothers and one sister. Despite all this, I was alone. Behind the scenes, I was being molested. I was being verbally, physically and emotionally abused. By the age of ten, I already lost two brothers. One, who lived only seven years with Cerebral Palsy and the other died when I was ten in a tragic car accident. In my middle school years, I finally had enough, and my anger and brokenness took over. I was so upset that one day I exploded and told my Mom that I was molested. She stepped up and found help for myself and for our family. Unfortunately, things were never the same for me. I still felt alone.
After I graduated high school, I noticed my sister started talking about God. She had faced many struggles as well, however now my sister had this positive spirit. I wanted what she had. I accepted Christ. However, I didn’t know anything about this new life. I didn’t follow through with going to church or finding good Christian people to be around, despite my sisters’ guidance. Looking back, I wanted to make her proud, but I was too immature to move forward with my faith. As an adult, I allowed men to sexually harass me, abuse me, all in the name of love. I was desperate to feel loved. I was never taught how to be a woman, Mom, or a daughter of God.
I failed so many times at parenting. However, when I started going to church 18 years ago, I started hearing things like, I am forgiven. I was introduced to a true Father. A Father who was My Rock, My Healer, My Forgiver, My Good Good Father. I went to church, I started classes to help with recovery. At the same time, I was carrying on with sin that I couldn’t break. I didn’t share much of my past or why I was in recovery. I just took in what they were saying. I had a difficult time applying it to my life because I was embarrassed of my past. February 2014 came, and I was sitting in church during a baptism service. Almost at the end of the service, our Pastor was asking if there was anyone else who felt they were ready to receive God’s forgiveness. My knees were shaking, uncontrollable tears flowed, and I felt a force pushing me to the stage. I had my 10-year-old daughter with and I said, “I have to go do this.” This is when I choose to re-commit my life. I remember seeing the happy tears stream down my little girls face as I was baptized. She was so happy to see Mom take this step. Even though, she might not have known the reason, or what this moment meant, I saw there was a connection for her that something good was happening! The funny thing about how God works is he usually puts us in uncomfortable situations that we might not normally be in unless we are being led by the Holy Spirt. If anyone knows me, they would know this is something I would never do because I didn’t sign up for this, it was a “God thing”. I had no blow dryer for my ultra-curly hair, no change of clothes and no makeup. As we left the church, I had wet clothes, wet hair and no worries at all. I never felt the cold of February. God is amazing! He took this angry, bitter woman and created a new heart in me. Since 2014, I still have ups and downs. I had a divorce, loss of family members and isolation at times. However, when I immerse myself in God’s Word, journal my prayers, surround myself around mentors, and attend bible study groups with women who love God, I am sustained!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free e s-book, You’re Going to Make It Through, you can get it here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my coaching courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books