This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
Last night my oldest son asked my husband if it would be alright if he started calling him Dad. A specific answered prayer from God. My husband and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary in January, God has answered all of my prayers! He is faithful and always does exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think (Ephesians 3:20 KJV). We have two boys from my previous marriage and now a sweet little princess to complete us. However this wasn’t always my story.
My first marriage was a disaster from the start, I married a very unstable man that I cared very much for. I believed with faith and prayer that you could move mountains just like the bible says. I learned some very valuable lessons, the biggest being the obstacle of free will. You and all the faith in the world cannot change someone. I often questioned God as to why he would have allowed me to make this decision and why he left all my prayers unanswered. My ex-husband was a substance abuser, on and off again kind of thing. We went to church, counseling and I spent much of my time praying and begging God to make him the husband and father that we needed. Year after year for 6 years things would get better then they would get worse. I tried everything from tough love to just letting him be who he was. None of this stopped him from sinning. We attended an amazing church with the power and realness of the Spirit, a place where if you wanted help it was there. I finally had to come to a point where I accepted the reality that he didn’t want help. And thus began the next phase of my life, single mother of two sweet boys. I think of them as my Manasseh (for God said he hath made me forget all my toil) and Ephraim (for God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction- Genesis 41:51-52). This is from the biblical account of Joseph after being sold into slavery and betrayed by his family. I heard this preached at a camp meeting more than a decade ago and it’s always stayed with me. God always stayed with me, His word and His people are what got me through to the other side.
Divorce was an ugly, horrible mess and I understand why God considers it an abomination. I felt inspired to write this because Christian books such as Elisabeth’s gave me wisdom and encouragement to do what needed to be done. I will say the most important and helpful thing I read was that filing for divorce was not me ending the marriage. The marriage was ended when my then husband broke the covenant we vowed with God. All I did was legally get out of the mess before it damaged my children. It’s always all about perspective and through this God showed me just who He was and what He could do. I did not want to give up, I believed God. I am glad I gave up, I turned my ex-husband over to the Lord and have not looked back. God made this right for me and I look forward to how He will make it right with my boys who do not have a relationship with their father.
I mentioned earlier that I questioned God and lastly I want to let you know He did not let those questions go unanswered. It wasn’t until sometime in the first year of my husband and I being married that I realized all those prayers I prayed he had answered through him. A biblical principal that you can count on is (Galatians 6:7-9) for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. I sowed in prayer all those years and I thought God let them go unanswered, it took time BUT GOD showed me and now I am REAPING! Don’t give up, don’t lose out on the BUT GOD part of your story.
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my coaching courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books