I set out to write a post to/about this pastor who has done such damage to women, to Christians, to the holiness of marriage, to clergy.
But then I realized I don’t think I have anything new to say that I haven’t already said. I have been ringing this bell for about six years now and I will keep ringing it.
But instead of coming up with a bunch of new words, I’m going to share some of my old words, words that have been read and reread and cried over, words that have spurred on email after email of women telling me, THANK YOU…THIS IS MY STORY.
If you are a woman who is abused in any way in her marriage, there is help and hope, I promise you.
You Can Be in an Abusive Marriage and Now Know It
I Think My Husband Abuses Me, Now What?
The Aftereffects of Emotional Abuse
And if you are a pastor, for the love of God, stop putting the sanctity of marriage above the wholeness of a person.
Why I’m Now Okay It’s Called Domestic Violence
Exposing the Secret of Difficult Marriage in the Church
Not All Marriages Are Created Equal
Shattering the Stereotype of the Abusive Marriage
Church, We’ve GOT to Handle Emotional Abuse Better
I Think My Friend is Being Abused
One Pastor’s Take on Domestic Abuse
I’m just scratching the surface here, but I hope you prayerfully consider how you can serve the women in your churches who are hurting.
My story as well. This is one of the main reasons I write.
Thank you Elisabeth! Discovering your work a couple of years ago started my healing journey~recovering from the guilt, shame, and fear from having sought a divorce as a Christian woman. I was almost immolized from my worries that I’d lost favor with God and that I had committed an unforgivable sin (which is how some Christians portray divorce) because my grounds did not fall within Biblical guidelines. There was no adultery or abandonment, but my marriage was emotionally destructive, and my spouse would not go with me for help. I reached a point where I could no longer endure.
I think that many Christian leaders are hesitant or even afraid when it comes to wanting women out of these situations because of the distortions in interpreting Scripture on marriage and divorce. The institution of marriage is placed above a person’s physical, mental, and spiritual health. I wanted to be healthy and whole to be able to take care of my children. I couldn’t be by remaining in my situation.
It’s taken me awhile to realize that God knows my situation and that even divorced Christians can find perfect peace in Jesus’ work on the cross (regardless of what some of our fellow Christiansleaders would have us believe.