Dear blog reader, group member, book reader, email subscriber, and Facebook follower,

Question: Why do you charge for your services (when a good portion of your target audience is struggling financially)?

I get this question, or a form of it -“I need your help but I can’t afford your course” – every once in a while.

Thankfully, I get more clients and more positive feedback than I do guilt for charging and pleas for free products.

But I thought it might be helpful for me to tackle this question head on, as yucky as it can be to talk about money.

So, why do I charge for my services?

Let me first say, I was you. I was in a difficult marriage and money was controlled and I wasn’t free to go and spend whatever I wanted. And I was a divorced, single mom and money was tight. So, I do understand. With that said though…

1, I charge for my services because this is my job. This is what I do for a living. This is what I believe God has called me to put my hand to at this time. And I need to make money, just like you do, just like everyone else.

2, I charge for my services because at the age of 47, I can confidently say that I’ve become an expert in my field.

a degree in Psychology
ten years+ in women’s ministry
the personal experience of living in a difficult marriage, divorcing, single-parenting, and remarrying (which is more than many counselors and pastors can say)
fifteen books and e-books
six years of reading and writing and talking with hundreds of other women in these situations
moderating six private Facebook groups that grew to 2500 women
120+ clients under my belt
a coaching certification

This all adds up to something…expertise.

3, I charge for my services because what I offer has value.  I’m doing Kingdom work, which I believe is ridiculously important. And I’m doing meaningful work, as I’m helping women become more whole and move closer to God. I’m in the hope-dispensing business. I’m in the life-transformation business. This isn’t child’s play. This isn’t a hobby. This is a real job, this is a hard job, and not everyone could do this job.

4, I charge for my services because Starbucks charges you for your coffee and your hairdresser charges you for your trim and your landlord charges you rent. You wouldn’t expect to get a free coffee because you’re in a hard marriage and you wouldn’t expect a free haircut because you’re divorced and you wouldn’t expect someone to let you live somewhere for free because you’re a single mom.
On the flipside, you wouldn’t – as a worker yourself – expect to do all your work for free, just because of someone’s circumstances. We pay for things we need and want. That’s how life works.

5, I charge for my services because Paul says in I Timothy 5:18, “The worker deserves {her} wages.” That includes those of us in ministry. Your pastor makes money. Your counselor makes money.

6, I charge for my services because if I were to offer my services for free, I would actually have to stop altogether, as I would have to get a full-time job and I would no longer be able to continue mentoring at all due to the time and energy it takes to do it well.

7, I charge for my services because you get what you pay for. Would you truly want free advice, little band-aids handed out to you now and then, from someone who isn’t giving you her best?

8, I charge for my services because I spent years giving the farm away for free. My farm. My hard-fought, hard-worked-for, hard-earned farm. In part out of a desire to help as many women as possible, in part to earn your trust as a reliable resource, and in part out of not knowing any better. I can’t do that anymore. My desire is to help as many women as possible, YES. I can help here and there in bits and pieces with the masses, for sure. And I have been and I will continue to.

But to go deep requires my time and energy. That time and energy must go to my coaching clients. And my time and energy – as is yours – is worth something.

With all that said, I understand that some of you truly cannot afford coaching at this time. And until you are able, know this…I have spent years creating resources for you – and MOST OF THEM ARE FREE or very inexpensive, all of which can help you.

Hope & Healing Facebook group over 1000 sweet women are waiting to encourage and support you
Blog 927 posts are available to you on topics that matter to you
Webcasts 16 one-minute encouragement videos are at the ready to give you a boost
You’re Going to Make It Through e-book a collection of essays to help you move forward

This is much more free material than you’d find from any other author/speaker, let alone from any other kind of business.

Also, all of my e-books are $6.99 & under and all of my paperbacks are under $15:

I’d also recommend the following free resources:
Celebrate Recovery
A Place for Us groups: I used to moderate these groups but have since handed them off to a few sweet, supportive, godly women. If you’d like to join one of them:
Difficult Marriage: Email Sarah at
Separated/Divorced: Email Sade at or Jennifer at

Now, if you are in a place where you can financially afford to help someone else who cannot afford coaching and you’d like to give back, I have two options for you.

One, you can support me monthly in my ministry through Patreon.
Or two, you can give to the Pay It Forward Sponsorship fund.

I am FOR YOU. I am FOR YOUR HEALING. I am FOR YOUR WHOLENESS. I am FOR YOUR HOLINESS. I am FOR YOUR FREEDOM. I am FOR YOU KNOWING YOU’RE LOVED. And I intend to keep working towards that end as long as God directs, I just can’t do it for free.

Gratefully yours,

P.S. I just wrote this whole thing. And then later that day, I started reading a book by Brene Brown. In it she talked about writing herself permission slips, to be herself, to have fun, to set an intention for her day, etc. And it just occurred to me that this entire post, basically, is on the defense. This entire post was me trying to convince you (and my naysayers) that what I do is work. This entire post was me asking permission to get paid for my work.  But, and I say this with all due respect and the deepest of love for each one of you, I don’t need permission from anyone but God and myself. THIS IS MY LIFE’S WORK. And I intend to keep it that way.

If you would like to work with me – and know that I would LOVE to work with you – then let’s do it. Sign up here OR email me and let’s talk about what you need, sweet girl.

If, however, you do not, I understand. Not everyone will like me or love me or agree with me or be able to or want to work with me. And I wish you so very well, and I wish God’s hope and healing and love over your life.

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you're just moments away from calm!