This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
God, a mystery that continually unravels me. As I seek Him and press into His heart, He is more visible than the blue sky on a clear day.
We carry all of our broken things with us through life. Our tattered box with torn pieces others have left behind. We bleed and we break, but we go on or at least try. It’s only when we learn we can only truly go on in Him that we start to look for that healing we desperately desire and need.
We have to get beyond ourselves, out of ourselves. Look past our pain, past our broken pieces that will become mountains between us and God if we don’t. The secret to finding Him is finding Him in everything.
I have spent my entire life being broken. One brokenness to the next has been my entire story. I’ve known God for 20 years now. I have been sitting in His hands hiding my heart from Him and keeping myself from all the healing He held. Senseless, right? I know, but we all know this place and some, like me, live there.
Hitting the bottom of this broken place as life around me spun out like a washing machine shredding apart clothes. I was dry, torn, and held a dying soul. Then someone said to me, “No one can do this for you. This is between you and God.” What!? What does that mean!?
I painfully chiseled a brick out of the wall I built that kept God and everyone else far away from my shattered heart and my mess of brokenness. He came in like lightening striking me and although I could feel myself breaking further it was a different kind of brokenness. Now I was broken in Him, sweetly broken, perfectly broken, just as He desired and it was out of this place I found Him.
This road that I am still traveling has been fast paced and full of walking through everything that I so desired to forget. Everything in my tattered box spilled all over, but He lovingly said, “See, it’s all ok”.
I drown myself in Him constantly and keep my focus on Him solely…. that’s how I get through each and every day. If I focus on the pain of the past, the hurt of the day, the things I cannot control, the situations that want to bring me low, I will lose my footing, trip, and fall.
For the first time in my life I am learning to know His love is for me and learning to trust Him fully. I am finally seeing glimpses of wholeness that I never thought were possible for me. I gave up that dream so long ago, but now see it is possible if we really want it. Those of us who are willing to break down the walls and stop hiding our hearts, our pain, our brokenness from the only one who can truly heal it will find it. We won’t find healing anywhere else and I can testify that ignoring it is a sure fail as well.
He is waiting for us in the pain. He is in our brokenness. He is in our sin-stained memories. He is in it all, if we allow Him in. He will place His hands of healing all over our brokenness if we let Him. We have to hold onto Him, grip Him, every single second. We have to immerse ourselves in His Word and in the things of Him. As we relentlessly seek Him we are healed and made whole in Him.
-Sarah
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books