This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
While my divorce was a miserable experience, I learned so much that is helping me through another rough experience in my life. I have always loved my children dearly and God is teaching me to let go. Throughout her senior year, one of my children started pulling away from me. Two months after she turned 18 she moved out of our home without telling me where she was going and has basically cut me out of her life. This has been THE most hurtful experience of my life. Not only did my husband never truly love me but my own child who I loved with my whole heart rejected me.
However, surprisingly, this has not totally devastated me. Do I miss her? Absolutely. Do I grieve for her? Of course. However, I know that God has her in His arms and is not letting go. I know that He loves her more than I ever could.
How can I be so certain that she will be ok? Well, here are some of the lessons I have learned over the last decade or more.
Over twelve years ago when we considered moving 6 hours away from where we lived, I was not happy. I left a church and friends I loved. However, we moved within a few miles of where my parents lived. I quickly got involved with a good church. About a year and a half after we moved here I had to initiate the Protection from Abuse order and started the divorce process. The pastor and an attorney from church jumped in and helped and supported me through the divorce process. I didn’t know the attorney practiced family law but it was his specialty and he walked me through the whole process and gave me excellent advice both legally and spiritually. It made the process so much easier than it would have been near my ex in-laws.
A couple years ago I wanted to go on a mission trip with my church. I was completely dedicated to this trip. However, I ended up not being able to go because of some bad choices I made. However, that summer ended up being my daughter’s last summer at home. I would have missed her last birthday at home if I had gone on that trip. I was heart-broken but I can now see that it was a blessing to be home.
I ended up stepping down from some ministries I was involved in. Again, that hurt. However, because I was not involved in those events I have been able to do other wonderful things. I have started leading a different ministry. I have had the time to develop some new relationships, female friends for whom we can bless each other, and He has brought a new man into my life who loves me and cares about me deeply.
I could look back on the last decade or more and say “I lost so much” but I choose to look back and see how God has taken each of those hurts and used them to bring something good into my life. So, as hard as it is to not have my daughter in my life and as much as I hope she doesn’t have to scrape bottom before she comes back to us, I know that God has shown me that He loves her and He loves me and only has my good and her good in store.
So yes, God IS still good and CAN still be trusted.
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books