This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone.  -Elisabeth

I feel like the “woman at the well.”

I was married very young at 17. He left but he gave me my daughter.

I married a few years later to a wonderful man, we were in church, had my son then 17 years later, he also left. He told me, “it’s not you, I just don’t want to be with you.”

I tried for years to be patient, read everything biblical on marriage, prayed, cried, had good church support but the years went by. He never came back. I waited 11 years to even date.

Then I met a man in church 6 years ago. It was the perfect set up for disaster. He was kind, nice, funny and attractive to me and attracted to me, so we started dating.

It was a nightmare, compromised my walk, I cried a thousand tears. Three years into this I said, we either get married or leave me alone. We married, more hellish nightmare. So now we’re separated probably pending divorce.

I am not perfect by any means but his own family can’t understand his cruelty to me and oh the lying and manipulating just goes on and on.

I’m broken…53, lonely, tired and exhausted. I just wanted to share life again with someone and I waited 11 years!

God has sustained me, forgiven me and I’m in a great church and have good fellowship. I stay connected to the body of Christ. This pain is so raw and real.

Ladies, don’t ever marry for the terrible reasons I did. I love/loved him but was trying to “fix” or salvage 3 years of unbiblical dating with marrying him.

Like I said I fit the description of the woman at the well. I didn’t become a Christian till I was 27 into my 2nd marriage, but still feel I identify with her.

This really is for women who may be contemplating marrying or staying with someone abusing you because you’re older or lonely, etc. DON’T do it. There might be someone out there who will treat you like a jewel you are; don’t compromise.

God is with me today even still in the nightmare. I know this will not always be this way. The pain and tears are real and sometimes I can’t even read my Bible because I can’t see the page for tears in my eyes, then I just hold it to my chest, hug it and cry out to God. I hope this helps someone.


If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:

If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book:
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book:
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book:

Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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