No one wants to feel broken at Christmas. But you do. We want brokenness to stop for holidays and special events, but life just isn’t like that. So here you are. You are moving slowly. You are hurting. You feel listless, painfully aware of what’s not right in your life or in your heart.
And then there’s Christmas. With the lights and the gifts and the baking and the dreaded Christmas letter (how do you sum up where you are right now in that darn family Christmas letter?! Ahh, maybe this is the year you don’t write one).
How can you and your brokenness coalesce with the Christmas season? You don’t want to do Christmas. You want to stay in bed until January 2nd-ish.
Here’s how.
You tell God – who sent Jesus as a baby and who holds your circumstances in his hands – how you feel.
You lay it all out before him. You tell him you feel broken. You tell him you’re done. You tell him you’ve had it up to here. You tell him that Christmas, this year, will just have to go on without you.
You roll it all onto him, as my mentor says. And then you wait. And you rest. And you take a look at your holiday to-do list and maybe scratch out a thing or two (no one will miss that letter).
You just let yourself be broken.
Do not for one moment think that you need to be something that you’re not. That you need to muster up wholeness and fake-happy just because it’s December.
You do not.
And if you think you do, who told you that?
If it’s anyone other than Jesus, you do not have to listen.
You, sweet one, just walk your broken self to that Baby in the manger. You kneel down. You tell him you love him and tell him you’re broken and you ask for his healing and love. That’s all you have to do today.
That’s all.
The Lord will perfect that which concerns me. –Psalm 138:8– (NKJV)
God, I am hurting. I can’t see past my pain today. I do not want to celebrate Christmas. I’m sorry, but it’s true. I need you to heal me. I need you to carry me. I just need you. Amen.
If this post resonated with you, you’ll want to order your copy of Holidays for the Hurting for you or a friend.
This is me this year. There have been serious trials and have I have been living out of boxes between two houses where the buyer of the first house just backed out of the purchase. Then there’s my only 2 adult daughters not getting along and a narc husband- and I just want to hide until mid-Jan. With several auto-immune illnesses, one of these would be enough to handle. I couldn’t muster the energy or desire for a tree, decorations or cookies. I know I’ll hear about it from one of my daughters, but I am profoundly saddened by everything that seems to be crashing in. I really needed to read this today. That It’s ok to be human. It’s ok to tell God how broken I feel and to not be fake. I have done fake for 25 years and I just can’t this year.
I am so very sorry, Lisa. Yes, BE HUMAN. Yes, TELL GOD you’re sad! This life is a breath, sweet girl.
Thank you for this. So expertly written, with the sincerity that can only be present by one who has experienced this herself. I appreciate this blog so much. I removed myself from Facebook due to just, well, all things Facebook. Ugh. I can’t believe how much better my life is without Facebook at this time. I felt better from the first day I disconnected. Unfortunately, the one downside is not having the connections such as yours. I appreciate this alternate way of staying connected. I appreciate you and your willingness to share so much of your story. It matters and helps me so very much
Thank you for your sweet words, May. Hope Jesus fills your holiday season.