This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
I was one of those people. You know, the kind that had an almost perfect life…or though it seemed. I did have a nice house, a great part-time job, two kind, intelligent, easy-going sons, a devoted husband and many friends. The only problem was that part of it was a facade and that part was the devoted husband. I knew he had anger issues, emotional problems and was not treating any of us the way he was supposed to but I was eager to make excuses and explain away. I had no idea the depth of the true problem until the summer of 2014. My husband came home after a trip and told me he didn’t think he wanted to be married anymore. He needed a more adventurous spouse and a different life. It came as a complete shock to me. I begged him to consider our children and pleaded with him not to break up their family. He didn’t care. I pointed out the lack biblical reasons for divorce- adultery and abandonment. Again, he didn’t care and showed no compassion. Who was this man? How could he possibly do this to me and his precious boys? I fought for my marriage in every way I knew how, my husband became severely emotionally abusive so I kicked him out of the house and over the next few months I learned how deep the facade went. I found proof of ongoing adultery, tens of thousands of dollars of secret debt and this man showed cruelness I had no idea existed in his heart.
My soul was crushed, I could barely function and I lost 20 pounds that I didn’t have to lose. I did turn to God and begged him for mercy and one of the first signs that showed He was with me was the outpouring of my friends’ and even strangers’ kindness and compassion.I found an amazing Christian counselor who changed my life. One of my brothers flew in often to check on me and my kids and my mom came for extended periods of time just to do laundry and cook dinner when I couldn’t. Those are gifts from God. My husband’s true colors were exposed and I no longer resisted the divorce but saw it as godly protection. I limited contact with him and the true healing began. I fought for primary custody of my kids and won, which rarely happens in my state and God put women in my life who had been through this and could help me.
Exactly three years from the day when I kicked my husband out of the house, I am now writing this. My heart is softer now than that it was that day- that only happens with God. I now have a boyfriend who treats me extremely well and loves and follows Jesus. I have a life of peace, joy and abundant love. The despair is gone, the pain is gone and in its place is a new, intentional life of contentment. I now help women going through difficult divorces and find myself to be a much more compassionate person in general. My faith and God’s grace are the only ways I can explain such a happy ending, or it may be more appropriate to say such a blessed new beginning.
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join one my private Facebook groups (difficult marriage, separated/divorced, single moms, remarried), please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my mentoring courses.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
Thanks for sharing this hope! My prayer through each moment has been for God to reveal what was hidden – and He did just that over, and over again. I’m six years divorced, but still not dating. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be that brave. But I have begun to pray and ask God to show me what direction He has for me in this area. I know He’ll answer! So I trust Him! The process is so very different for each of us walking this journey. I find it very helpful to hear others’ experiences. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your story. This is very similar to what I am going through right now. I am still praying that God will reveal the truth. I feel like I am loosing my mind.