This is a continuation of a new series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. I sent out the call for stories that answered either ‘what is one lesson God has taught you?’ or ‘what is one way God has healed you?’ through their hard marriages, their separations, their divorces, their single mothering seasons, their forays into dating post-divorce, or even their remarriages.  These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone.

He Heals the Broken-Hearted

“What does it feel like?”

It wasn’t a casual question. My friend wanted to know how my heart was feeling after my world had fallen down around me, after my life had splintered into a million pieces.

But how do you put pain into words?  The pain of having a man look in your eyes and pledge his forever love, and then choose other women over you? The pain of serving beside him in overseas churches for over a decade, only to discover he had multiple affairs with trusted friends, even one you had mentored? The pain of knowing he was never—even from the beginning of your marriage—faithful to the vows he made? How do you describe such pain?

I tried my best to tell her.

“You know those huge glass sculptures? Imagine someone swinging a hammer into one of them, and it splinters into a million pieces.  The sound of those million pieces shattering and raining down—if my pain were a sound—that would be it.  It’s the sound my hearts makes every waking moment, over and over. And it never stops. The hammer just keeps smashing, and the pieces just keep breaking.”

We come from all walks of life—we women who have experienced the heartbreak of broken marriages—and our stories are all different. Yet one common thread weaves its way through each of our stories.  The thread of pain. Pain that crushes the very breath out of us, that leaves us feeling we will never truly live again, let alone live in joy.

But I am here to tell you, the pain doesn’t last forever. That hurting with each breath you take? It will pass. That black hole you just can’t seem to claw your way out of? You will someday spend your last day there. The sun will shine again. I promise.

As much as I would like to tell you that time will heal your wounds, I cannot. Time will not heal you. Yes, it is an essential part of your healing, but standing alone, time will not heal your broken heart.

There are many things that have contributed to my healing. I have been surrounded by a supportive family and a loving church. I have grieved. I have taken a year off from ministry, and then immersed myself back into church and community. I have worked hard and become financially independent.  I have cherished time with my children, allowing their love to be a balm for my wounded spirit.

As important as each of these things are, they pale in comparison to what truly healed me. Rather, Who healed me.  His name is Jesus, and He is the Great Physician of my broken heart. I had known that Scripture promises Jesus will heal the broken hearted, but I discovered a key truth in my journey of pain.  Just as a medical doctor cannot heal a physical ailment unless I go to him, so Jesus cannot heal me unless I go to Him.

And so I went to Jesus. I immersed myself in Scripture. I wrote down verses of comfort and carried them everywhere with me. I prayed earnestly for healing. I listened to uplifting songs about the love of God. And during the blackest, darkest times, I slept with my Bible beside me on my pillow. I held on to Jesus with every last bit of strength I had.

It’s been 2 ½ years since I left my broken marriage, and I can say with all honesty that God is taking the pain away.  He is bringing joy and light, hopes and dreams to my life again. I no longer feel the crushing pain that once filled my days.  If you are in this battle, don’t give up hope. Go to the Great Physician. He will heal your broken heart.


If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:

If you would like to join one my private Facebook groups (difficult marriage, separated/divorced, single moms, remarried), please send me a friend request at

If in a difficult marriage:
Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book:

If separated/divorced:
Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book:

If a single mom:
Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available as a PDF/e-book:

Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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