For nineteen years, I worshipped and served with one church community that I loved. I’ve shared here why I felt compelled to leave, despite how that place and those people had become my second home, my second family.
And then I went and found a new church home, what I often referred to as my safe, soft place to land during a horrible life transition.
And I have spent four-and-a-half years there. And it has been good for my soul. It was good for me to learn that I had what it took to find a church on my own. It was good for me to 
see that there isn’t just one church in the world, that Jesus is in many, many churches, that faith can take different forms and the sky won’t fall down around you.
During that time, I began dating and then eventually married my husband. And, as you probably know, we are finally living together full-time now. And our sweet little church is in a transition of its own: a move to the downtown area of our city with an energized mission.
In other words, it’s a new season for Richard and me, and it’s a new season for our church.
However, our paths – we have decided – are diverging.
It is with gratitude and sadness and excitement all mixed in together that we are saying goodbye to The Orchard and striking out to find a church home of our own that is truly ours (and not just mine with him joining in).
I have said my goodbyes. We were affirmed and supported for our decision. We are leaving well, with no burned bridges, doors always open to us.
But before I officially close the door, I want to share the one main gift I received during that time.
When I showed up, I was four months past my divorce date. I was raw. I was vulnerable. My wounds were not healed yet. (Shoot, some of them still aren’t.) And not just marriage-wounds, I had church-wounds as well. I dragged myself in there planning to rest. For a long, long time.
And I was invited to do just that. To soak up. To just come and sit and take in. For as long as I wanted, as long as I needed.
But in the same breath I was basically told, But you have something to offer…even now…in your pain…you don’t have to wait to participate or to serve until we deem you healed. You determine that, we don’t. So let us know what you want to do and when.
Coming from a place where I had recently been told that my situation was “too fresh” for me to serve, these words were like hot tea on a sore throat.
So, sweet one, if you are in a place of pain and you need to stop all the serving and heal up, please, please listen to your heart and do so. Take all the time you need. We will be here waiting for you when you’re ready.
But if someone else is telling you that you shouldn’t be serving right now (as opposed to asking you if you’d like a break), that is telling. And though you very well could use a break, you can also find another place to serve if you’re no longer being allowed to.
You have something to offer now. And I thank my church for teaching me that.
If you want to figure out what you have to offer, I’d love to work with you.
I too, found a new church home during that painful time of divorce, and God has used that as a place of ministry in my life….leading and co-leading small groups (DivorceCare among them) and coming alongside single women who never dreamed they would be single after decades of marriage. God’s promises are true, and HE will use EVERYTHING for our good and His glory! Even my son commented recently that I had gotten much closer to God during this time of my life. I’m still navigating changes in my 5+ years of being a single mom. Not yet embracing the rapid changes fully (sort of wish I’d be able to rest for a hot second) but I’m making progress every day. Giving myself grace and space to grow.
What an honor it has been to have you as a part of our community. Thank you for everything you have done to help our tribe. Your willingness to share your story and help others who are hurting or struggling is such a gift! We will miss you and Buzz! Thanks for all of your encouragement and support. You are loved and appreciated!
Thank you, Tammy! It’s been such a huge gift in my life to be at The Orchard.
Your words remind me of my own soft place.
I started attending Abundant Life International Church after my former church protected my abuser rather than my children and me. There had been an episode of physical abuse and though they knew of the emotional abuse, they believef the physical episode was not related and was a one time thing.
ALICcleveland welcomed me in and instead of putting me through a battery of tests to find out if I was worthy, they invited me to join in and put my gifts to work. I joined the praise team and found joy in worship.
ALICcleveland has been a place of safety and healing. They have loved me and embraced me and offered help through the final year of my marriage. They supported and lifted me and my youngest son through the separation and divorce. Pastor took the time to help build bridges, that ultimately were rejected and once Pastor saw, he fully supported my prayerful decision to separate.
I am still rejoicing in the God of my salvation and I know that the favor I see daily in my life s in part because of the prayer I receive in my safe place. I am so blessed and I hope along with Elizabeth’s story, others have hope that there are soft places to rest and still be spiritually productive.
All glory to God, who loves us in abundance.