So, as you probably know, I just got married. To the sweetest man I know.
Our wedding day was everything I could’ve hoped for and more, filled with poignant moments and laughter and most of the people closest to us who have helped us walk from broken to healing.
The first thing Richard said to me after the ceremony (after we sang and danced away from the ceremony site to American Authors’ “Best Day of My Life”) was, “That was awesome!” which was so endearing and so affirming because I knew he meant not only that it was great to be married to me but that he thought I’d done a good job planning everything, something that I always, always second-guess myself on after years of criticism taken on as truth.
But what I really wanted to share was the second thing he said to me, as we took a few deep breaths before heading back out to do pictures and then on to the reception. And I wanted to share it because it took my breath away. And because it shows his true character. And because it was the kindest, best way ever for a marriage to begin.
He said to me…wait for it…“Is there anything I can do for you?”
In that moment, he was showing to me that he was already going to live out what it talks about in Ephesians 5:25 when Paul admonishes husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church.
He could’ve reached for a beer. He could’ve checked the mirror before pictures. He could’ve done any manner of things in those moments. But his first instinct was to check on me and see if I needed anything and he went on to do that throughout the night, asking if I had enough to eat and were drinking enough water and if I needed to sit down for a few minutes and if I had talked to everyone. (See why I married him?)
And he has done that every day since. (Yes, I know, it’s been less than two weeks, but still.) At the end of every phone call he asks if I need anything. At the end of each evening, before we go to sleep, we either pray out loud together or he prays for us silently. Our first day home earlier this week, he asked what he could do off of my to-do list. And then he did it. And more. And didn’t complain.
No huge lessons in this post today, girls.
Okay, maybe there is. He would say he wasn’t always like this. And any good he sees in me, I would say to him I wasn’t always like this, that he wouldn’t have liked the wife I used to be.
Our hard times, our past failures and mistakes, our brokenness, all of it, has changed us into the man and woman who have what it takes to be good to each other and for each other and good partners today.
And you too can let your brokenness and your failures be redeemed in the hands of God and you can let him heal you and soften you and change you. It’s not too late.
“I will restore to you the years the swarming locusts have eaten; You shall be satisfied and praise the name of the LORD your God, who has dealt wondrously with you.” –Joel 2:25-26
So much joy and praise for the contentment and redemption God has provided. Thank you for sharing, keep spreading hope!
Oh….awww!!! Sincerely, awww!!! I was remembering this morning your post about him fixing up your deck and his response when you said, “You’re just going to take care of me forever, aren’t you?”
Beautiful. God bless you both. I pray many hearts will be healed through your ministry.
Praise God! I am sitting here reading this with tears streaming down my face. Happy and hopeful tears! So, so happy for you and your husband and praising God because He is so faithful and SO good. And hopeful because I’m praying someday God will bring a great man into my life, and He will withhold no good thing (Ps 84:11) when I am ready! Until then, I continue to ask Him to have His way, allow Him to bind up and heal my wounds, and let Him make me into the woman He wants me to be.
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in HIM (Ps. 62:5 NLT)
God bless you and thank you for what you do here!
When you first starting posting about dating and Tall Shadow, I didn’t think I could read the posts still being in pain and turmoil. I am so glad I have!!! I am 5 months post divorce and have made a 2 year committment of no dating. I started out thinking “absolutely no, no way, no how” on remarriage. But, God is slowly showing me that I may have been made for partnership and He is showing me what you said in this post: I was a really bad wife. But, it was because I was swiming upstream and ended up almost drowning. I wasn’t married to someone who has the capability to love–much less affirm and encourage. Starting to realize the disaster that my first marriage was is teaching me how to be a woman that doesn’t NEED a husband but can value one. And, a good, decent, Godly man can help me be the wife I always wanted to be. As always, thank you!!! And, congratulations and blessings to you and Tall Shadow!!! I pray for you and now your marriage often. ☺
Elizabeth….this is exactly what God is teaching me right now!!! That HE redeems our failures, sins, everything!! His grace is sufficient!! How I praise HIM for that! Congratulations on your marriage! You give me hope and encouragement every time I read your post! Thank you for being God’s voice of encouragement – always!!
Congrats! I’m very happy for you. The best is yet to come!