Anyone who thinks that the problems of a hard marriage end on divorce day has never been divorced.
Recently, I found myself embroiled in a very odd situation. How I wish I could share the details because, trust me, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. But let’s just say it had/has the potential to rock my sweet, little peace-filled, God-provided corner of the world, along with my kids’ peace of mind.
Now, if it were just about me, screw it…I’d let it fall to the ground like 95% of the ridiculousness that still happens.
But this one’s not just about me, it’s about my kids as well. And I promised God and myself and them that I would always, always, always fight for them – for their safety, for their emotional protection, for their hearts.
So, this quirky little situation encroached upon my life (hmmm, just about the same time I started dating and was seen walking down the street with a man…coincidence, no?) and I, at first, freaked the heck out. I’m only human, sweet ones, and still occasionally knee-jerk react as opposed to prayerfully respond, I’m sad to say.
I freaked out by panicking and by texting my inner circle and then emailing my next rung of support and journaling and perhaps shedding a few tears and eating a few chocolates (whatever).
But one morning, I was taking a walk in my neighborhood and I sat down in the grassy area behind my precious home that I love and I was just sobbing.
And I felt the Spirit say to me as clear as day…
Will you trust me?
And then I felt the Spirit remind me of the verse I have up in my bedroom – Exodus 14:14. But I looked it up on my phone in a different version and it came up as this:
The LORD shall fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.
Now, I am not a name-it-and-claim-it kinda gal. I try not to take random verses from Scripture and slap them onto my random situations and proclaim that God is going to do such-and-such for me. In fact, my philosophy on the sovereignty of God is this: he can do whatever he wants, I just don’t know what it’s going to be. So I will never have the audacity to claim that God is going to work out a circumstance in a certain way because there is just no way I can know.
But in that moment, I knew what God was trying to tell me. That no matter how this potentially (in my mind) horrible thing played out: not only could he be trusted, and not only was he going to fight for me and for us, but my peace – no matter the outcome…even if this ridiculous thing shook out the opposite way I wanted it to – my peace would be remaining firm within my grasp.
So while crying, I told God I would trust him. And then something in my heart switched. And though this situation remains dangling and open-ended (in other words, in limbo…in other words, the way I hate life to be), I have felt such an utterly deep peace about this thing, I can’t even tell you. God’s got this.
And so today, if you are hurting, if you are waiting, if something looks foreboding in your life, if you’re in a hard marriage that is emotionally wearing at your soul, if you’re divorced and still fighting battles, know this, sweet ones:
Our God is a trustworthy, faithful God.
Our God promises peace unexplainable.
Our God is bigger than your problem.
Our God’s got this.
And no matter how things turn out…our God’s got you.
…the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. –Philippians 4:7 (NKJV)
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