I waited and waited and waited for God.
At last he looked; finally he listened.
His love and truth
are all that keeps me together.
Soften up, God, and intervene;
hurry and get me some help,
So those who are trying to kidnap my soul
will be embarrassed and lose face,
So anyone who gets a kick out of making me miserable
will be heckled and disgraced,
So those who pray for my ruin
will be booed and jeered without mercy.
And me? I’m a mess. I’m nothing and have nothing:
make something of me.
You can do it; you’ve got what it takes—
but God, don’t put it off.
I am a living psalm today. I am unsettled. I am on slippery ground. Not only do I feel like people are against me, I feel like I’m letting people down, disappointing them. I feel as if my soul is on the verge of being kidnapped. As if people won’t be happy until I’m groveling. Sometimes I almost feel prayed against.
And I feel as if I’m in a holding pattern. I am waiting on several outside forces (and when I say forces, I mean people) to determine my fate. Or so it feels.
But then there’s God…..and truth…..and love. There’s what I know to be true even when not one molecule in my body feels like it is true.
I can wait as long as I know God is waiting with me. I can stand on solid ground because the ground is God and not my somewhat-ridiculous circumstances. People can think what they want and be angry with me and kick me while I’m down til next Sunday, but my God is my Father and my Husband and he is not disappointed in me or angry with me. He knows me, he pursues me, he cares about my life and my sadnesses. He doesn’t make me beg, and, yes, he loves me. Some days it feels like he’s the only One, which I know isn’t true.
But even if that were the case, his love is enough. His love would always so completely be enough. I might be a mess. But he can and will make something of me. And I may have to wait and wait and wait, but he will come through. And it will all be alright.
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thanks for the nice message and motivation to start my day, have a good weekend!
You just spoke word for word of my feelings today, and the yesterdays! But it never fails, when I pick up the word, hear a song or a TV sermon, the Lord is telling me hang on, I am with you and I love you!!!! Thank you Beth!
Cindy, I’m so glad God used my words to speak to you! That is so encouraging for me to hear.
Thanks for the reminder of how far you’ve come. I just finished reading “Unraveling” and am really looking forward to your next book.
Thank you, Karen! I’m so glad Unraveling was a blessing.
It is entirely possible that people were praying against you, but they would not be aligned with God’s will. They would be aligning themselves with the darkness, which is what you were fighting against. Has God prevailed? Has he put them to shame?
Cynthia, that is very true…I guess I hadn’t really thought that someone might have been praying against me, but they very well could’ve been. And only He knows if they’ve been put to shame. Thankfully, I don’t need to spend emotional energy thinking about that stuff anymore! 🙂
JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR TODAY!!! Gettin’ my PRAISE ON NOW!!
Kim, I’m so glad to hear this!
I am filing for separation today and am heartbroken. So many days have led to this one. And I need this truth today. Thank you.
Sharon, I am so very sorry for your pain. I moderate a private group on Facebook for women who are separated/divorced. If interested, send me a friend request at http://www.facebook.com/elisabeth.corcoran and I can add you. -Elisabeth