Though I wouldn’t have said this outloud, had someone asked me what set me apart in the Kingdom of God, say, twenty -five years ago, I would’ve believed deep down that I was the poster child for a goody-two-shoes coming to Jesus, and how he could take some gifts and maybe make them a bit better. That was the extent of where I thought my life was headed, the tiny breadth of all I had to offer him.
Fast forward to present day. I’m a little wiser. A little more humble. A little more accurate in my self-perceptions. A lot more banged-up. So now my answer would be this: I’m the poster child for brokenness and, hopefully, for beauty coming through despite it all.
I say that with my head held high, not embarrassed or ashamed. Singer/songwriter Kim Hill says it perfectly: “She’s finally seen the light..…that He loves broken things..…so let all the pieces fall…..and see what that freedom brings…..”
There is a freedom in looking your own brokenness in the eye, dragging it out into the light, welcoming it as part of who you are, then handing it all to Jesus and asking him to put the pieces back together and to make something beautiful out of it.
Right now, that’s what my life is all about. In all honestly, I’m a bit weary as this is an arduous task. I’m a bit raw, as it takes a lot of time for deep wounds to heal.
But something surprising is happening in me. Though I have always believed that Jesus loves me, and one of my life joys is to remind people that they, too, are loved completely by God, I seem to be understanding his mercy and grace in new ways. Things are being stripped away, and I’m experiencing a quiet, deep, pervasive, gentle, not-going-anywhere-no-matter-what kind of love that I maybe hadn’t been privileged to feel before, at least not in the way I have been. And I am so, so grateful.
I know I sent Jesus to the Cross with my sin…..that has been very apparent to me lately, but my soul is being reminded that he went willingly and in doing so, he covers all of what’s broken inside me.
So here’s to you if you’re weary and broken today…..here is your word of promise from God, from Psalm 34:18 (NLT):
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
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Then I will purify them
and put them to the test,
just as gold and silver
are purified and tested.
They will pray in my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, “You are my people,”
and they will reply,
“You, LORD, are our God!”
that’s all I can say~
Jen, thank you for reading.