I occasionally still find myself in positions where I have no earthly idea how to handle something in a godly way. Where I have maybe five options on where to go with something and none of them are black and white and all of them feel slightly wrong and slightly right, usually because the ways I’m considering handling the thing is new to me and so it feels uncomfortable and weird and, you know, healthy.
And the situation usually leaves me asking myself this:
Where does the whole setting a boundary/standing up for myself/protecting my heart fall into the whole turn-the-other-cheek/Jesus laid his life down and let people crucify him thing?
I am currently scratching my head over just such a situation.
In this situation, I have asked someone for something. I followed the rules. I did nothing wrong. But I’ve been accused of doing something wrong and so I was given a no as the answer.
And yet, that no is ridiculous and sad and doesn’t take anyone else’s feelings into account.
So I could do one of the following things:
I could surrender, and just cancel the whole stupid thing. But that would be detrimental to the parties in question. And it might give the impression that I can be walked on, still, again, forever, whatever.
I could attempt to continue to work this out. But that would just drag out the inevitable. And leave me stressed. And make something kinda small much bigger than it is. And get me all worked up, which might just be the other’s person’s hope.
Or I could just say I’m just going to move ahead with the thing I set out to do – something that is good for the parties in question – and hope consequences don’t come barreling down on me.
Each one of these three routes has pros and cons. And each one of these three choices can have a Scripture attached to it to justify my decision.
There is no black and white. This is not cut and dry. This is not one way is totally right and holy and Jesus-y and the other ways are totally wrong and evil and of the devil.
They are all just choices I could make.
And so here’s what I’ve done with this specific issue.
I prayed about it, surrendering it to Jesus, asking for help and guidance on what to do.
I’ve talked to a couple friends to get all my feelings out about it, to make sure that none of my options would be selfish and mean and stubborn and controlly just for the sake of being selfish and mean and stubborn and controlly.
And then, sigh, I just had to choose one. So I did. I chose an option and I feel okay about it. Not great, not horrible, not all regretty, but okay. And now I sit and wait to see what happens to me for handling this thing this way, for handling this thing in a new way. Will it come back to bite me? Perhaps. But each choice could have come back to bite me, I’m learning. So I just chose. Remembering that God will always play the ball where it lies and that even if I chose “wrong”, there is grace and a do-over just waiting for me on the other side.