Question (to Facebook community of women in difficult Christian marriages): “If you could give advice to husbands in how they should treat you as wives specifically related to being in a difficult marriage, what would you say?” 

When I’m crabby, it’s not always your fault. Sometimes I’ve had a bad day, or am struggling with something. I don’t necessarily need it fixed. I just need to vent, to know you are praying for me, and most of all, sometimes I just need a hug.
Marriage is made up of two very different people…different experiences and expectations. When you come to an issue you can’t resolve, get some outside help. A wise mentor, counselor or pastor to help you reach a compromise and gain understanding. 

Invest in your marriage. Make a goal not just to stay married but to stay happily married forever. It will take work, but the reward is a priceless treasure.
Please always tell me the truth even if it will hurt me. 

If I ask you to get help, or show concern over a habit of yours that seems to be turning destructive, please listen. I’m saying it because I care about you and our family. 

Treat me as an equal. I am intelligent and I would like to have the opportunity to discuss and give my input on things that affect us and our family.
Appreciate the small things and embrace who I am as a person. Don’t try to change my true identity.
Make eye contact and care enough to ask me questions. 

Please stop calling me names, please stop trying to control me, please stop lying to me.
Just listen; sometimes that’s all I want. 

Please communicate more, show that you cherish me and care for me.
Notice the little things… what I say, what I wear, what I like… just NOTICE.
Please be kind and respectful.
Men, women want to be loved. We want to be able to trust you. We aren’t trying to nag you to death. We just want a marriage that is honoring to both of us, to our children and to God. 

If this post helped you, I would encourage you to check out “Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage”, found here.

Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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