This is not going to be a pro-divorce post, as I am not pro-divorce. However, some of us are already on that side and so I want to toss out a little life preserver. We are not without hope.
“Something a friend said to me, long before I left my husband: I don’t know if you will get divorced. I hope you don’t; I don’t know if you will. I do know that, if you do, two years later you will know some things about God that you don’t know now. Later, as I was leaving, as I was packing to go to Ellie’s, I took those words with me in my suitcase, with my turtlenecks and a gray wool dress and a dozen pairs of socks. I hoped my friend was right.” Lauren Winner, Still
I have learned so very much through this process…about myself, about life, about my kids, about my true friends (and who doesn’t have my back), about marriage, about divorce, about abuse, about God. But I’m not the only one. Here are just a few things that some of the sweet women on my Facebook group have learned through this heart-wrenching experience.
God is still in control.
His plans are so much better than mine.
If I fix my eyes on Jesus, he will take care of me.
God loves me, and he loves my children.
I may not like the things I have to go through but I can learn from all the mistakes.
I am only responsible for my own behavior. I am no one’s Holy Spirit.
I am learning how to be who I am. I don’t have to be better, do better – I can just let myself be and that is good enough.
The LORD is my true husband.
The Lord is Jehovah-Jireh…he has looked far into our future and already made a provision.
I have learned I can really do some things by myself.
I truly found out who I am in Jesus Christ and that I can stand on my two feet.
I found out that when people show you who they are, you should believe them.
The only one thing that I can only count on is God.
That most “things” really don’t matter.
I am not “crazy”.
One person’s view of me does not define me – ever!
I have realized that {in my experience of divorcing}, I am sharing in the cross of Christ, in which I can glory.
God loves you, dear divorced person. He has not shunned you. He has not left you alone. He plans to turn everything around in your life into something beautiful. Hold onto that hope of redemption.
May I add one? A friend told me, “You cannot talk your way out of something you acted your way into.”
My husband would follow his trantrums and emotional abuse by saying the sweetest things, buying me a gift, or giving me a bit of money to go shopping. Talk meant nothing because I knew the words were hollow. It would happen again.
We are currently selling our home. We had multiple offers and I asked my mother to pray that we would know which one was the right one to accept. She gave me one more piece of wisdom….
“God’s plan is already in place. You just have to pray that you will see his lead and follow it.”
I am grateful to have my sweet mother walking through this with me. My 15 year-old daughter has een a source of strength, as well.
Thank you for your words of wisdom. I look forward to each post.