Question (from Facebook community): “My walk with the Lord really seems to suffer and take the hit the most. Do you have any counsel on how you maintained a consistent, fruitful walk with the Lord even in a bad marriage?”
I suffer from the opposite problem. When things in my life are going okay, that’s when I slip a bit in my fervor in staying close to Jesus. (That could be why God keeps giving me so many problems! He knows I’ll stay close.)
In fact, I remember a time about seven years ago when I had gone away on my annual right-before-school-started retreat to think and pray through the upcoming ministry year, and I was in an absolute rut. I was bored with my faith and my devotions, and I recommitted to start every morning with Jesus, and I asked him to teach me new things.
Literally within a few days, the largest crisis crashed into my life, and I knew that my commitment to daily time with Jesus was put in place for that season. So every day, I dragged myself to the bench on my porch or my sweet little loveseat next to the window, with my cup of tea, my journal and my Bible, and I begged God to show up, to do something, to fix our situation, to give me peace and strength and power. And that’s what I’d say to you. You need him even more than the woman in a good marriage. Your marriage needs you strong in your faith even more than a good marriage does.
Commit each day to spend some time with God. Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when you don’t think you have the time. Even when you think it doesn’t make any difference. Show up. That’s all I’m asking. Show up and see what God will do.
Worship. If you’re not in a church, get in one. If you’re in one, but your attendance is sporadic, commit to going every week. And if you’re going every week but something’s missing, ask the Spirit to bring a new vibrancy to your worship experience. He is God even in the hard times and deserves our worship no matter what our circumstances are doing to us.
Community. You are lonely, even if you don’t think you are. You need to be talking to someone about your flailing faith who will gently push you back to Jesus. Reach out, even if it’s hard, to a female friend who will hold you accountable as you attempt to revive your walk.
Pray. Here are some five-second prayers that you can pray at any time, that God truly wants to answer:
-Ask God to reveal himself to you if you don’t know him personally yet.
-Ask God to give you a heart that loves him more than anything else.
-Ask God to increase your faith in him and to help you to trust him more.
-Ask God to help you be more aware of his presence in your daily life.
-Ask God to give you a hunger for his Word.
-Ask God to renew your heart and your relationship with him.
-Ask God to give you holy wonder – true awe for who he really is.
-If you’re tired, ask for his rest; if you’re lonely, ask for his companionship.
-Ask God, when you don’t know what else to ask for, to “be big” in your life.
-Ask God to help you fall in love with him.
-Ask God to give you a heart that loves him more than anything else.
-Ask God to increase your faith in him and to help you to trust him more.
-Ask God to help you be more aware of his presence in your daily life.
-Ask God to give you a hunger for his Word.
-Ask God to renew your heart and your relationship with him.
-Ask God to give you holy wonder – true awe for who he really is.
-If you’re tired, ask for his rest; if you’re lonely, ask for his companionship.
-Ask God, when you don’t know what else to ask for, to “be big” in your life.
-Ask God to help you fall in love with him.
Remember that God is “close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18) and that he promises to draw near to you as you draw near to him (James 4:8). In other words, God is here and waiting, and you just need to move a little bit closer. So today, move closer.
If this post helped you, I would encourage you to check out “Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage”, found here.
Thank you for this. Somehow, I felt you were talking to me! I guess another question I have is, is it possible for me as a Believer to walk with the Lord if I don’t want my marriage? I feel like as a Believer, I’m supposed to want my marriage. Yet, all I can really do, or even feel willing to do, is just remain in it.