Question (from Facebook community): “I know his threats are unfounded…{but} I’m so tired of being afraid. How should I be handling this?”


I, too, am tired of the fear. Of the constancy. Of the hunt. Of the chaos. Of the wondering what’s around the corner. 

So, a couple thoughts for us today, married or not, dealing with scary or mean words and actions coming our way. 

Check your perceptions. You first need to determine if you are actually being threatened and if so, if you need to take action to protect yourself and your children. Don’t take harsh words lightly. If someone says, for instance, that they are going to take you down beyond all recognition, that is a red flag and it’s being waved in front of you as a warning. Do not try to handle this on your own. Run it by a trusted and wise friend or two to see if you should get the police or courts involved.And on the other hand, if your actions are matching the words being said of you, ask someone you trust to help you figure out what you can do to minimize that.  Remember, we are walking this thing out with our heads held high, so be open to fixing what you can.

Pray. Ask God to protect you and your children emotionally, physically and spiritually. Ask God to restore your reputation if you’ve been slandered. Ask God to remind you what he thinks about you and what is really true about who you are. Ask God to reveal the truth and to close the mouth of your attacker, then trust that he will do so either literally or in the heavenly realms. And ask God for wisdom on how to proceed. 

Fear not. Easier said than done, I totally know. But God tells us not to fear all throughout Scripture. In fact, a great resource for you… Beth Moore has compiled many references to “not being afraid” in this handy packet that you can download for free: Start reading through this, a few verses or a page a day, and ask God to make you a stronger, braver woman.   

Choose the higher way. As I was mulling over the most recent vengeance aimed against me, I had this thought.  One day sooner than we all think, we are each going to be standing before God.  And when I do, I will be standing there with a clear conscience, knowing that I’ve walked this hard road, though not perfectly, with integrity.  I have not lied.  I have not falsely accused.  I have stood up appropriately for myself and for my children.  And though I may be maligned and battered down here, I will at least be able to stand before my Maker (who is also, lucky me, my Husband) knowing that the awful things being said and done against me are completely untrue, unjustifiable and without merit.  And I would rather be this person – this falsely accused person – than be the person who is doing all of the false accusing and actually doing all these wrong and hurtful things. I’ll take disparaged on the high road over low-road, sad, isolated living any day. The righteous win in the end, so keep walking. 

I sought the LORD, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears– Psalm 34:4 (HCSB) –
But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!  – Isaiah 54:17 (NLV) –

If this post encouraged you, you would benefit from “Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage”, found here or “Living through Divorce as a Christian Woman”, found here.

Taking a few moments to sit quietly and focus your heart and mind on Jesus is one of the best things you can do for yourself spiritually, mentally, emotionally and even physically. Enjoy this free gift of guided meditations.

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