Some people don’t understand why I write what I write. The people who don’t understand are, typically, people who aren’t in difficult marriages or have not been through a separation or divorce.
In one of the Facebook groups that I moderate – the one for Christian women in difficult marriages – I recently posted this:
Who We Are
We are a gathering of women who love God and find themselves in difficult marriages, trying to live out each day in holy, kind and emotionally healthy ways.
We are a gathering of women who love God and find themselves in difficult marriages, trying to live out each day in holy, kind and emotionally healthy ways.
Purpose
We are here to encourage each other in our walks with God and in our difficult daily circumstances. We can offer suggestions, prayer and Scripture, but we agree that we will not tell anyone if she should leave her marriage, as we believe that is between God and the individual.
We are here to encourage each other in our walks with God and in our difficult daily circumstances. We can offer suggestions, prayer and Scripture, but we agree that we will not tell anyone if she should leave her marriage, as we believe that is between God and the individual.
I write what I write, I share what I share, and I started these groups that I started because for fifteen years I felt so alone and completely unheard and misunderstood. And then I stopped feeling alone and I started feeling heard and understood. And then I got help. A rescue came.
And I believe with everything in me that God did not reach down into my dark circumstances and pull me out just so I could soak up his comfort all for myself.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
He comforts us in all our troubles so that… The comfort doesn’t end with us receiving it. It circles around and keeps on going with us comforting others. I was rescued and I want to rescue. But let me clarify what I mean by that. I do not mean I was “rescued out of my marriage”. I mean I was offered concrete help. Someone heard me. Someone said, on my behalf, enough is enough…this is wrong. My marriage could just as easily gone the other way…it could have been restored. But it wasn’t just up to me. And it wasn’t just up to God. But even though my marriage ended, I can say that I was offered help and comfort soon followed.
So I write because I want to be a voice to the voiceless. The now one hundred and twenty (and growing daily) women that make up the two Facebook groups need a voice. They need a voice in our society and they need a voice in our churches.
But by no means am I speaking from a place of “I am woman, hear me roar” or “let’s get as many women out of these marriages as possible”. Absolutely not. I am speaking from a place of “Dear Jesus, I beg you, on behalf of each one of these hurting women, especially those currently in devastatingly difficult marriages, do something. Heal them. Heal their husbands. Bring them support and help. Don’t let them languish for the rest of their lives because no one would intervene or stand up for them. Please do a miracle in each one of these women’s lives. Please send them your comfort as I know how sad and lonely and scared and confused each one of them feels. I lived it and know it. But I also know that you, Lord, can do mighty things. Restore their marriages, restore their brokenness, restore their lives. Do something, Lord, before it’s too late.”
And that is why I write what I write and share what I share and say what I say, even though people don’t always understand or agree.
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“Dear Jesus, I beg you, on behalf of each one of these hurting women, especially those currently in devastatingly difficult marriages, do something. Heal them. Heal their husbands. Bring them support and help. Don’t let them languish for the rest of their lives because no one would intervene or stand up for them. Please do a miracle in each one of these women’s lives. Please send them your comfort as I know how sad and lonely and scared and confused each one of them feels. I lived it and know it. But I also know that you, Lord, can do mighty things. Restore their marriages, restore their brokenness, restore their lives. Do something, Lord,befor it is too late” thank you elisabeth for being the only person who feels my pain.