Question (from Facebook community): “Just had the kids picked up by their Dad for a few hours. Does this ever get any easier?”


And yes.

No because there is something deep inside of us that knows that living apart is not at all what God wanted or intended. I believe that there is going to be a piece of me that feels ever-so-slightly off or not quite right for the rest of my life because I am divorced. This wasn’t the plan. It’s not supposed to be like this. Our kids should not have two homes. There should be one. And the mom and the dad should be living in it with them. Bottomline. So, no, it doesn’t get any easier to sit with the reality each time a child is picked up by the other parent.

But yes. Because I believe, and I’ve said this before, that time + God + a willing heart always equals some kind of miracle. I’m not there yet. I’ve got God. I’ve got the willing heart, but for me, enough time hasn’t quite gone by yet. It still stings, each and every pick-up time. And yet, me now compared to me when the formal visitation plan kicked in nine months ago are two totally different women.

Me then found me sitting on my couch, looking out the window, then crying for ten minutes after they had driven away.

Me now, for the most part, is a hug at the door, I love you’s are exchanged, as well as a prayer over both of them, then I shut the door, take some deep breaths, and walk back into my life for the next few hours or few days. I sometimes make myself dinner, or watch a movie, or have some tea on my porch. Or, I sometimes even grab my keys. I sometimes already have plans and need to get going. There is that ache and that sting, but it doesn’t last as long. I don’t linger in it.

However, I do notice that I take a big breath in when the dog goes running to the door each time they are dropped off, as if I had been holding it all in all weekend.

So maybe the best answer is, no, it doesn’t ever get any easier, but in time, it does get a bit less hard.

If this post helped you, “Moving On as a Christian Single Mom” is for you, found here.

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