“If you could change something about me, what would it be?” This was me asking my fourteen year old son to speak into my life. 

I should have prayed first. Or sat down. Or taken something. 

“You make everything so serious.” 

O-kay. Not wanting to sound “serious” in my response, “Alright…I can see that. Like, you want me to be more fun?” 

He shrugged. He apparently didn’t have a three-step plan for me to put into practice on the tip of his tongue.  

A few minutes went by. I, of course, was totally stewing over this. But we kept playing in the pool, me acting like the carefree mother that I like to pretend that I am. 

“Okay, I know this actually makes your point even more valid, that I’m about to ask follow-up questions and such, but, just hear me out. Do you realize how hard it is to be a single mom? Because it’s really hard. And I take my role as your mom seriously because it’s a huge responsibility. I’m trying to do this thing right with you and your sister, and I’m doing it alone. That’s kind of a big deal.” 

Blank stare. (He was probably thinking, “Stop talking. Please stop talking. You’re totally proving my point.”) 

“Well, I’ll work on being more fun and stuff. But I just needed you to know that.” 

“Okay,” he said, then went under water. 

An hour later, he and I were playing some random board game, his sister on the couch doing something on her computer, and I laughed at something Jack said. Sara, “Your laugh is weird.”  

Some days, I just can’t win.

If this post helped you, “Moving On as a Christian Single Mom” is for you, found here.


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