Over the years, I have come up with seriously long lists of goals, of both the practical and spiritual nature. I have come up with annual theme verses. With dreams to shoot for. With tasks I would be super mad at myself if I didn’t accomplish. I did not do any of this for 2012. 

Instead, I have one word. 


The interesting thing about this one word, I’m realizing, is that in all the years’ past, for the most part, everything I committed to or wrote down or wished for, I had a huge part in being able to bring about. 

Take, write a book, for instance. Well, I didn’t just go to bed every night and ask the word fairies to type away while I slept. I actually, you know, had to write the book. 

Or, become more like Christ as another example. Though, yes, the Holy Spirit has a ton to do with this one (don’t get me wrong), I will not just magically become more like Jesus because I write it down on a piece of paper. Sort of like, when you pray for patience, God doesn’t automatically make you more patient; he places you in situations that test and stretch your need for patience, and as you allow the circumstance to work in you and you respond in more gentle and kind ways, you slowly but surely realize that you’re becoming a more patient person. 

But this one…healing…well, if I have learned anything, I have learned that I cannot heal myself. I cannot make myself heal. I cannot muster it up on my own no matter how hard I wish. 

My responsibility is two-fold. 

First, I need to determine honestly if healing is what I really desire, or if I’m deep down pretty okay with staying stuck and sad and ever-so-slightly pitied. Let’s be truthful…everyone’s expectations are lowered when you’re in a depression or in the middle of a really difficult circumstance that is beyond your control (again, not that you can just wish it all away). But if everyone feels sorry for you, it can start to feel like a drug. That people still think it’s okay if I show up at their house in my pajamas is a double-edged sword…sure, abundant grace is an amazing gift, but then again, it’s also not a huge motivator. So, my heart motives need to be checked. 

Assuming that I do in fact want to heal, I move to the next step, which is simply this. I must place myself in postures to be available for healing when it comes. 

For me, this means that I need to pray. I need to spend time in Scripture. I need to read books that are light- and life-giving. I need to spend time with friends who fill me up. I need to spend time in worship. I need to serve. I need to be open to gentle words of correction and advice from people who know me and love me. I need to take walks. I need to get enough rest, even the occasional nap. 

And as I take these small daily what-seem-like-nothing-that-has-to-do-with-healing-my-heart steps, I will begin to start to see myself being healed. This will not all happen in 2012. But it will happen. 

I’m going to give this {woman} a thorough renovation, working a truehealing inside and out. I’m going to show {her} life whole, life brimming with blessings. I’ll restore everything that was lost… I’ll build everything back as good as new.  –Jeremiah 33:6 (Msg)- 

Life isn't always how we want it. When change seems elusive, and we're stuck in old routines, a gentle push or some self-reflection can make a difference. Let these questions be that nudge to get you moving.

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