Looking out my kitchen window this morning, a view I’ve had for over four years, I asked God, “What do you have for me here still?”
There is a reason that my house didn’t close at the end of August when it was “supposed to”.  I just don’t know it.
It could be the chance to ride my John Deere tractor a few more times. Seriously.  I love that thing.
It could be the gift of extra time in my car as it takes me ten minutes to get anywhere from where I live.
It could be a handful more days to enjoy and yet grieve and say goodbye to this sweet place that I’ve called home for awhile now.
It could be the blessing of observing one more autumn of back country roads and huge skies and shifting colors.
The colors caught my eye this morning and I remembered something that I’d heard a long time ago.  I heard that the true color of trees are actually the hues that we see during the transition of fall but that photosynthesis keeps them all green most of the time.  Now, if you’re a scientist, or even if you just Googled that, and I’m wrong, please don’t tell me.  Because I love that thought for some reason.
Because perhaps during this transition of mine – this limbo, this in between, this waiting season – maybe my true colors are coming through.  I wrote yesterday of a quietness and sadness, and yet, I am not staring down this season with impatient, urgent eyes the way I might have even a couple years ago.
I’m just here.  I’m simply waiting.  I’m not emotionally tapping my foot with crossed arms while sighing deep sighs.  I just know that God knows and that I don’t need to.  That he saw to it that I’d be safe in the meantime.  I have all I need in this in between time.  And because I do, I can be free to look around and see what just might be here for me today.

If this post encouraged you, you would benefit from “Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage”, found here or “Living through Divorce as a Christian Woman”, found here.