I’ve been thinking a lot about resuscitation and resurrection.  I’ve been thinking about how subtly different they are.  I’ve been thinking about what Jesus did.  I’ve been thinking about what I desperately need.
To resuscitate means to revive from unconsciousness.
Resurrection is the act of rising from the dead.
I heard a pastor make this additional distinction between the two.  Resuscitation brings the person back to their original state, whereas resurrection brings the person back transformed.
Every single day, I need little resuscitations.  I constantly need to be revived in my physical state, so I sleep, I drink a smoothie, I take a walk, I breathe in deeply.  I continually need to be revived in my parenting, so that I’m consistent, strong, patient, yet gentle…all so that I have the energy to remember that I am choosing the harder role of mother first over the easier role of friend.  And I most definitely need to be revived in my emotional life, as lately I’m allowing sadness to be my guide.
Oh, but what I need so very much more is resurrection of my soul.  There is a dying going on in my life, a grieving as well.  But along with those things comes a promise that there is new life on other side.  The other side for me might be years away, I don’t know, but there is another side.  I will not remain dead.  {I will not even remain “mostly dead”, to quote from Princess Bride.}
So I wait for my personal resurrection.  I long for it.  I hold onto the hope of the transformation that will accompany it, but I hope for something even better than that.  That the One who is my Resurrecter is all-knowing, all-seeing, all-loving and himself a resurrected One, so he knows what he’s doing in me.

If this post encouraged you, you would benefit from “Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage”, found here or “Living through Divorce as a Christian Woman”, found here.