I am steeped in difficulties right now. It’s been a hard few months. But today I did something that felt akin to waking up, coming back to life, getting back on the horse, and whatever other cliché might fit here.
Today, I stopped thinking about myself for ninety minutes. And I thought about the lives of four other people. Four other people who make my issues look like child’s play. Four other people who have something in common: they are HIV positive. And I was their Bible study leader.
I wondered what they might be thinking of me. White girl. She doesn’t know jack about hard times. Middle class. Not HIV positive. Et cetera. So I started off by dispelling the myth that my life is perfect and easy, that I’m a goody two shoes who loves Jesus so much that He has wiped away all my temptations and all my problems. Basically, I leveled the playing field a bit…at least, I hope I did.
I shared from my heart.And they shared from theirs.I knew them all of ten minutes and they were each sharing their stories. Painful, yes; but full of God’s mercies all over the place.It was stunningly beautiful.
And as I drove way, sunroof wide open, I remembered that I have a problem.But I realized that I hadn’t remembered that I have a problem when I was in that room with those four people.And though the problem didn’t go away during that time, it sure felt good to set it down for awhile.And I get to go back and do it again next week.
My mercies may not be new each day, but my God’s sure are.