This following Jesus thing can be tricky sometimes. There are many, many don’ts in the Bible that help me know what to steer clear of…lying, adultery, slander, malice, worry, yada yada yada. And there are many, many do’s that guide me in what I should do…pray, believe, serve, hope, love, et cetera.
But then there are some areas in life that the Bible does not have a specific bullet-pointed list for. Where you should go to college. If you should marry John Smith. Take the job in Akron or in Beloit. You catch my drift.
I’m in one of those places, sort of. I’ve made a decision based on prayer, wise counsel (immense amount of wise counsel), what I know of God’s character, some random circumstances here and there, and a few whispers from Jesus. I feel as confident as I can feel about something like this. Because the thing is…scandalous, for lack of a better word.
I’m standing up for myself in a way that I never have before. I am changing the steps of the dance, no longer waltzing but enjoying hip hop, as a friend put it. And though I’m as sure as I can be, things feel fuzzy, grey. Time is moving in slow motion. My heart is adjusting to the new rhythm but my tummy still has butterflies. I spoke the truth in love and, surprise surprise, it wasn’t taken all that well.
But I’m learning a couple things along the way.I cannot predict or control someone’s response to my felt obedience.But even when the response is not so great, or downright ugly, I must still stay the course.I must not let words or actions that throw me for a loop actually throw me for a loop.I am doing what I feel Jesus has led me to do, and He already sees the outcome.So I don’t have to know it or worry about it or obsess about it, hypothetically of course.
I’m also learning that sometimes it’s okay to be scandalous. I’ve worked out the worst-case scenarios and, guess what, none of them scare me anymore. I think I used to be easily intimidated, but something in me has shifted and I have a respectful bring-it attitude.
Because if I feel like I’m truly following the leading of God, and I truly do, then what can man do to me? Not a thing. Not a single thing. Eyes on Me, baby, I heard Jesus say.
So that’s where my eyes will be.
If this post helped you, I would encourage you to check out “Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage”, found here.