Yesterday would have been my eighteenth wedding anniversary.Had my now-husband, then-fiance, not broken our engagement, that is.That was my first, first-person heartbreak.Meaning, I had gone through being a child of divorce, but that was more about my parents than about me.So, this was my first, big, hard thing.And it was devastating.
But I was telling my son about it this morning, leaving out the devastating part, and I said to him, “Had we gotten married on January 25, 1992, when we were supposed to (please imagine me air-quoting feverishly right about now) instead of when we did, I wouldn’t have had you.You wouldn’t even exist.”He gave me that look that tells me he totally doesn’t know what I mean.But when I said those words while looking my sweet boy in the eyes, it took my breath away.
That devastation that I would’ve given anything not to live through back then brought me Sara and Jack.Because I’m sure that if we’d gotten married earlier, I would’ve started bugging my husband about having kids earlier, and he would’ve relented earlier, and therefore we would’ve created altogether different human beings (well, God would have, but you know what I mean).
Side note: when I told Jack our actual wedding day and year, he didn’t say anything for a moment (turns out he was calculating) and then he said, incredulously, “You waited another almost two years?”My response, “You are preaching to the choir, brother.”(I got that quizzical look again.)
So if today is a day that you happen to be in the middle of a really hard thing and you can’t catch a glimpse of the other side, or you have been through something that you thought would simply break you beyond repair and restoration, please allow my small story of deep pain to bring a bit of encouragement…a bit of a reminder…maybe even a bit of hope…that good things can and do and will come from hard things.In fact, I can’t think of even one hard thing in my life that didn’t produce at least one good thing that was better than the hard was hard.
So hang in there, really…and keep your eyes and heart open.You just might be surprised.
Romans 8:28 (The Message)That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
If this post helped you, I would encourage you to check out “Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage”, found here.