So, my son and I are going to Haiti.And we’re excited.Well, he’s excited.I’m equal parts scared and excited.But that’s okay.Hard things and scary things usually bring about the best memories and, I have a feeling, because I can’t really know this for sure, bring about the best Kingdom work.
So, we decided and then we went on with our life.
Except that that night, Jack woke me up in the middle of the night, calling for me because of a nightmare.My son is eleven.He hasn’t had a nightmare in awhile.He hasn’t called for me in the middle of the night for even longer…like years perhaps.In fact, it’s one of the strengths of my family, my friend and I were joking.Corcorans – sleeping through the night since 1999.
Anyway, so I run downstairs, once I actually realized I was literally being called and not in-my-dream being called and he said, “I had a bad dream.”And then he sat up, and leaned into me and starting crying.(You are not to tell him about this if you ever see him.)And then he said, through tears, “I dreamed you died.”And he cried some more.And I held him as he cried and I whispered things like, “It’s okay…I’m right here…I’m okay…”And then when he calmed down a little bit, I asked if he wanted to tell me about the dream.He told me a little bit and then he said he didn’t want to say anymore, and I’m guessing because of the way he said it that my dream-death was violent.Then I told him that if anything ever happened to me, that he just had to believe me that Jesus would get him through it.Then I prayed for him and tucked him back in.
It took me about an hour to fall back to sleep, and when I did, I had a nightmare that I thought something horrible happened to Jack.
So, the next morning, I’m explaining all this away through human connecting of the dots.My dream was probably because of Jack’s dream, and Jack’s dream was probably because he got the news just this week that a little girl at school, his age, lost her mother suddenly a few days ago.
But it began to occur to me later that morning that not everything can be explained away in human terms.It began to occur to me that oh, yeah, I have just decided to go to Haiti.So maybe my dream was spiritual warfare.The next realization was that Jack said yes to God too this week.That just because he’s “only eleven” doesn’t mean he’s immune to spiritual warfare, as if that’s something that gets issued when you pick up your driver’s license or register to vote.
So last night as I put Jack to bed, I shared some of my thoughts with him.I do not want to scare him unnecessarily, and I made it clear that this was just a theory of mine.But I told him that he and I deciding to go to Haiti was saying yes to God.And when children of God decide to do big things for Him, our enemy (who is as real as, though nowhere near as powerful as, God) does not like it one bit.I then said, “You haven’t had a nightmare in ages, right?”He agreed.“And you’ve never had a violent one or one about me dying, right?”He said yes.“And you and I just decided to go to Haiti?”He nodded.“Then maybe, the enemy is none too pleased with us.”I went on, “This does not mean, if this is what’s happening, that we’re going to back out because of fear.It just means we need to pray harder.”And that’s what I did.
I prayed that he not have nightmares, as I pray every night, but that if he did, that Jesus would show up and help him even in the dream (not sure how theologically correct I was in that statement, but you know…).And as I walked away, he said, “But what if I have another nightmare?”And I said, “You call me again…and you call on Jesus.”And he said okay and rolled over.
He had no nightmares last night, thankfully, saying he slept really well.I had no nightmares either.But this has raised the stakes in my mind, even if just might be seeing a devil behind every bush in this situation.I think I’m going to take this trip more seriously.I think, I hope, this initial nightmare incident will nudge me to pray more about this trip and our experience and what comes out of it, especially for Jack.And I hope this means that even my eleven-year-old has some Kingdom work to do.
If this post helped you, “Moving On as a Christian Single Mom” is for you, found here.