For God did not give us a spirit of fear,
but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.
We have the mind of Christ.
2 Timothy 1:7 & 1 Corinthians 2:16b
It’s been brought to my attention as of late that I’ve been forgetting key components of key conversations. It’s happened enough that it’s been named. I have, apparently, some gaps.
When this was first brought up, I have to admit that I dismissed it, thinking this person was simply deflecting from the meat of whatever topic we were on. But when it was brought up again, it seems the only thing this person wanted from me was admission that this in actuality could be true…that I could have gaps.
Well, I said, if I do have gaps, would I even remember having them?
I was trying to be funny.We did both laugh a bit.But I did have to confess that anything really is possible.I could very well be having mind gaps.I’m getting older.So, memory tends to slip, I suppose.Plus, I’ve never prided myself on having a mind like a steel trap.I could also argue that I tend to remember things that are important to me, and let slip things that maybe are not so.
All that to say, I simply asked Jesus to strengthen my memory.To make this a non-issue so it wouldn’t become any more of a relational stumbling block than it was becoming.
And do you know what He did? (And, I have to give credit to my dear friend, Charlotte, for even pointing this out to me, because I had not connected the dots at all on this one.) But this is what He did. (And I need to tell a roundabout story to get to my point.)
About a month before school started, I got it in my head that I should start memorizing Scripture with my kids.But by the time I gathered some advice from other seasoned moms on how to do this, school was starting and I didn’t want to add to my kids’ burden of homework and new classes and teachers and friends and football and youth group by telling them they also had to try to remember the book of Philippians or something.So, I decided to give it some time before bringing up the idea to Sara and Jack.
But that didn’t mean I couldn’t start with myself. So, sometime during the first week of school, I started reading in the book of James and began with a small passage to memorize. You must understand something. I have never made Scripture memory a priority before, in all my years of walking with Christ. Mainly out of laziness but I also just thought it would be too hard and I wouldn’t be able to do it.
I’m not going to say how many I’ve memorized so far, because that’s not the point, but what I will say is that I have been memorizing verses in the past three or so weeks with an ease that I didn’t know existed.
I shudder to even write this, thinking a) the enemy will read this and jump all over it and I’ll not only not be able to memorize anymore, but he’ll somehow make me forget the ones I have memorized…and b) yikes, what might God be preparing me for that He’s allowing me to memorize like this? (I hate that I think like this.)
But here’s where Charlotte’s insight comes in. She said to me the other morning something like, “How precious of God to allow you to memorize so easily at a time when you’re questioning the soundness of your mind. It’s as if He’s telling you that your mind and memory are more than fine…”
I teared up immediately when she said that.It hadn’t even occurred to me, but, yes, how like my God to answer a prayer in a way I couldn’t even have imagined.
So maybe I’ll just go by a Gap t-shirt and be done with it.