When we find ourselves in a situation that is painful, frustrating, confusing, maddening or sad, we can either pretend it's not as bad as it is or we can keep doing what we're doing hoping something changes on its own. That is what most of us do, and it's understandable.
Because the status quo – even if painful – can be easier to handle than change of any kind sometimes.
But we always have choices. Here are three options to more healthily handle a difficult circumstance.
Let me say upfront that each one of these roads take strength, wisdom and courage.
1) Accept your reality as is and learn to live in it, respectfully.
I want you to define your reality. What is your life really like right now? What do you like about it? What do you not like about it?
Then ask yourself, “Can I keep living like this as is, if nothing changes?”
And, “Can I take steps to live a more whole, abundant life within the confines of my life if it doesn't change?”
If your answers are yes and you intend to stay put and make no changes, then it is on you to find ways to improve your thinking so that you can stay put, as is, respectfully and not resentfully or as a brat.
2) Attempt to affect change, respectfully.
If you know you can’t keep going as is, I want you to define what changes you need to see to get to your desired goal of a whole, holy and healthy life.
A small example might be: I can’t stand the way my co-workers gossip. I am going to try to change the tone of our workplace.
You then determine to pray while you’re sitting in your car before walking in to work each morning.
You choose a verse to memorize about using kind words and you repeat it to yourself throughout the day.
When the gossip starts, you attempt to put a positive spin on things, stand up for the person they’re talking about, or change the subject.
If that doesn’t work, you start walking away so as not to engage.
If you feel the environment is still the same after you have attempted to affect change…
3) Leave the situation, respectfully.
You may find that staying in this situation is weighing you down too much and you just can’t do it anymore.
Leaving your situation poorly would look like quitting in a fit of anger or without a plan.
Leaving respectfully would include prayer, working on your resume, doing a thorough job search, continuing to do your job well until you find another job, and giving the proper notice.
We sometimes feel hopeless because we feel option-less. But in most situations, there is something we do have control over that can make our situation more bearable. Ask God to fill you with his wisdom and his courage to take needed steps.
If you could use a hand in unraveling a complicated situation, I'd love to work with you one-on-one.
Or if you could use a community of like-minded women to walk alongside you as you make changes, apply for Deeper Journey, my new six-month group coaching experience.