Though I don’t believe that prayer is like having a genie in a bottle grant you all your wishes, I do believe that prayer is mysterious and even magical in its own way. It connects us to Something bigger and outside ourselves, to Someone in control of all the things we don’t have control over. And, somehow – and I don’t get this part – prayer softens hearts…the person we’re praying for, yes, but also our own. Beauty and grace altogether.
Being separated or divorced is painful. There’s no getting around it. If you think it’s a piece of cake to walk away from a marriage, I would boldly go so far as to say that you are straight-up in denial. Two becoming one and then become two again is agonizing.
But I’m guessing you are desperate for healing, to learn some lessons, and to not feel forever the way you feel today. So I want to encourage you to pray for the next seven days over your separation or divorce, despite the agony, or maybe even because of it. It won’t make everything perfect, of course, but if you believe, it will do something.
The prayers of a righteous person are powerful and effective. –James 5:16b
Day 1: Your heart.
Jesus, I lift my heart up to you. It is raw and hurting and confused and angry (and about a million other emotions). I don’t want to stay stuck. I don’t want to become bitter. I don’t want to remain mired in unforgiveness. I don’t want to be sad all day every day. So I ask that you will enter in, that you will sift through all the broken shards, that you will begin softening them up, that you will gently get rid of anything that isn’t still needed, and restore all that is necessary to me moving forward. Thank you that you move even closer to the broken-hearted, and please mend my damaged soul. Amen.
Day 2: Your relationship with God.
Jesus, I lift up my relationship with you. Some days I feel you as close as a breath; other days it feels like you have forgotten me, like you might not even exist. But I know this: I need you desperately to get through this. If I am going to heal, it’s only going to be because you walked even more closely to me. Please renew my love for you, my thirst for your word, my desire for prayer and worship, my pull into community. Please be my comforter, my protector, my counselor, my best friend, my husband. Amen.
Day 3: Your mind.
Jesus, I lift up my mind to you. I have made so many agreements with the enemy of my soul and with my ex-husband about who I am. I am not an idiot. I am not selfish. I am not mean. I am not fill-in-the-blank. Help me take each errant thought captive when it comes screaming across my mind or every old memory that haunts me and sends me into a spiral. Help me give each of those thoughts to you. And remind me that I am loved completely, that I am precious and honored in your sight, and that no matter how it feels, I am not alone and will never be. Amen.
Day 4: Your health.
Jesus, I lift up my health to you. Umm, I’m a bit of a mess these days. I might not be eating right. I might not believe I have the energy to exercise. I maybe haven’t slept well in a very long time. And who knows the last time I did something for fun?? But I know that I am in crisis mode right now and I need to actually be building up my physical reserves even more than when I’m doing okay. I ask that you will help me make better choices, with what I eat, how I use my body, the depth of my rest, and how I spend my time. Show me how little changes can yield big results that will help me feel better and better. Amen.
Day 5: Your children.
Jesus, I lift up my children to you. Please bring them healing in their deepest places. Please help them communicate clearly with me how they are feeling. Please bring other men and women into their lives who love you and who will pour grace and truth and love into their lives and hearts. Please protect them in their future relationships from repeating the pattern of a broken marriage. I’m exhausted…please give me the strength and wisdom I need to mother them well on my own. Please protect their relationships with their father, no matter how I feel about him. Amen.
Day 6: Your relationships.
Jesus, I lift up all of my other relationships. Please shore up my safe harbor. Please make my relationship with my parents strong. Please make my relationships with my siblings healthy. Please make my relationships with my co-workers appropriate and respectful. Please make my relationships with my girlfriends to be full of mutual encouragement, support, and fun. Please protect me from unsafe men, especially before I’m ready to date. Please bring around me safe, kind men to help repair my woundedness. Though I’m in a time of healing, help me still be a good mother, a good daughter, a good sister, a good employee, and a good friend. Please fill my life with affirming relationships that will build me back up. Amen.
Day 7: Your future.
Jesus, I lift up my future to you. Some days, I can’t even see past the hour in front of me, let alone up ahead. Please help me seek you first. Help me look forward and not keep gazing back. Please give me things to look forward to and dreams to pursue. Remind me that you have provided me with a hope and a future, that my marital status does not define my future, it simply shifted it. Take my life and my pain and use it to help other people. I am yours. Amen.
Sweet one, if these prayers resonated with you, I have a couple resources that will take you deeper into your healing: Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage and one-on-one coaching.