This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone. -Elisabeth
My story begins and ends with twenty-five years of betrayal. We all have that true love that we think we can’t live without no matter what. I found mine at the age of 19 and within 6 months found out I was having a baby. We decided to get married. Before our beautiful baby girl was born, the lies had begun. According to him, it was just going a few places with a girl “friend” but the fact of me finding out about it from someone else, is what started the no trust issue. By the time our baby girl was 3, we were separated due to his infidelity with a coworker. After 8 months of separation, having the papers drawn up, and ready to sign, I couldn’t bring myself to sign them. He was begging for my forgiveness telling me that he had never slept with this woman. Being a Christian, I felt that I had no biblical reason then to divorce him.
As the years went on, we had another child. My husband was not a Christian and I kept praying for God to save him so that everything would be better. The cheating happened several more times but each time he would tell me that he had not slept with these women. I felt so betrayed each time. Why was I not good enough? I took care of myself by exercising and watching what I ate. I never went anywhere without looking presentable without makeup or clothes. I worked forty hours a week took care of the kids, the house, and the bills. What was I doing wrong?
Then after 12 years of praying, the Lord saved him! Six months after that, the Lord called him to preach. Now, everything would be perfect! He was a man of God, he read the bible, he preached God’s word and was pastoring our church. There is no way he would cheat, right? Wrong… unfortunately, the devil doesn’t play favorites. He doesn’t care who you are or what job you are doing for the Lord. After 11 years of being in the ministry, it happened again. The texting and in appropriate pictures with a lady from our church who was broken, abused, and looking for help. Thankfully, she felt convicted about the relationship and contacted our associate pastor. I was so mortified. So embarrassed. How would this effect our congregation or my kids? The associate pastor, my husband, and myself, agreed that he needed to take a leave of absence for six months. We decided to not say anything to our family and congregation. My husband agreed to go to the doctor and get help. God gave me the strength to forgive once again. Life moved on…. Then 2 years later, I knew what was happening. The hiding of the phone, the unexplained trips, and the treating me like a leper started again. I started praying. Asking God to please help me if this was happening again. Please show me the proof and give me the strength to walk away after 25 years of betrayal. He did that for me on May 21st, 2017.
The week my 1st grandbaby was to be born and should have been the happiest of my life was the hardest. The text came in while he was in the shower (He always took his phone into the bathroom with him, but had forgot to this time… That was a God thing.) The text was from her referring to my husband as babe. Did he try to lie his way out of it? Of course, he did. I didn’t accept the lies this time. I knew God was telling me enough is enough. Our dissolution was final 4 months after that day.
Even though my story is of betrayal, there is one person who NEVER betrayed me. The Lord has stuck by my side through it all. This may not be the life I had planned, but it is the one I’m going to live… FOR HIM!
If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:
If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my coaching courses.
If in a difficult marriage: Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books