This is a continuation of a series every Friday where I will be highlighting the growth and healing of one of my readers, a new reader each week. These, my sweet ones, are their brave and vulnerable stories. Take heart…you are not alone.  -Elisabeth

I’m walking a road I never thought I would be on.  A road that involves marriage to an abusive and unstable man.

I’ve been married 15 years to an active duty military man and even my earliest relationship memories have warning signs.  I question how I could have ignored so many red flags.  Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, and I really did think I was marrying the man God had for me.

I have 4 beautiful children that are my heart.  Because of the nature of constant moving that the military life entails, accountability, mentoring, and wise counsel were hard to find.  We did not live near family and I feel like no one knew the whole thread of our relationship.

Things became exponentially worse the more children we had and the more successful his career became.  Things came to a head one day last year when I was at the courthouse obtaining a protecting order and he was boarding a plane to flee the state.  Even in all this, I still had hope that God would heal and deliver him and restore our marriage.

God asked me to look at not just his words, but his actions.  Unfortunately, what I saw were that the two did not line up.  I saw brief changes that would last a day or week or two.  God showed me that a work of the flesh could only be sustained for so long.  A work of the spirit and true transformation wouldn’t fade.

I want you to know that God has proven his faithfulness to me over and over again.  There have been dark days, desperate days, days where I wanted my life to end because the pain was so unbearable. And yet, He was there sitting with me in my pain and waiting to carry me safely out.

God sees you.  I know it feels like you’ve been abandoned and no one sees and no one understands.  He is there.  He collects all your tears in a bottle and not one slips from your eyes without His notice.  I’m so glad I chose to press into Him more in the midst of such confusing times in my life.  This painful journey has allowed me to know Him in a deeper way than had I not had to walk this road.

It’s also humbled me.  I was raised in a very strict church upbringing that believes that divorce is not allowed under any circumstances.  In fact, just last night my own father made it known he is having nothing to do with me since I am pursuing divorce at this time.

God doesn’t like divorce, but He also doesn’t like for his daughters and children to be mistreated.  You are loved.  There is no condemnation.  God has good plans for you, a future and a hope.  He is the great rescuer, always calling us closer to Him.  Hold on to Him. He will not let you down.  Keep praying for miracles, even when they don’t look like the ones you prayed for when they arrive.

-Shalana

 

If this sweet woman’s post resonated with your heart, please know that you are not alone. Here are a few resources for you:

If you would like to join my closed Facebook group called Hope & Healing, you can find it here.
If you’d like to receive my free resource “Is Your Healing Halted?”, sign up here.
If you need a nudge in your healing, I would love to work with you! Join me for one of my coaching courses.
If in a difficult marriage: 
Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage is available as a PDF/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books
If separated/divorced: 
Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage is available in paperback/e-book: http://tinyurl.com/phowp95
If a single mom: 
Moving on as a Christian Single Mom is available in paperback/e-book: www.elisabethklein.com/books

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